In the words of my friend Saul:

A quick glance at the Grammy recipients this year reveals
what I've always said: the best way to win a Grammy is to a) have
someone in the band named "Bono" or b) die.

Of course, he's right. As a music lover, I usually either watch the Grammys and shake my head in disgust... or skip the Grammys and read the results in the newspaper the next day and then shake my head in disgust. I remember a few years ago, when Steely Dan won album of the year. I didn't even know Steely Dan was still together, and for the life of me, I can't think of a good reason why they're still together.

Looking at the pictures posted at the grammy's website, it seems that this year I missed the head-shakingest show they've had in years:


Here, Joss Stone performs with an elderly man who happens to share the same name as noted lesbian and occasional singer/songwriter Melissa Etheridge.

(03/25/05... turns out that Melissa Etheridge has cancer, and that's why she is bald. That's right, big brave me mocked a cancer patient. I should be flogged.)





Here, Loretta Lynn shows off her awards, along with the ugliest of her daughters.





Pill lady? Pill lady!!?? They gave me a little record player! PILL LADY!!??!"




Here, Steve Earle shows off the grammy for Most Politically Ostentatious Country Performer. He also won the post-show Meatloaf look-alike contest.




Here's James Brown and the hooker he'll be beating after the program.




Dear God, Diana Ross has gained weight! Oh, no, wait a minute... I mean, Dear God, Starr Jones has lost weight!




Here's J. Lo's future ex-husband, Tico Whatsisname. He didn't actually win a Grammy, he was just given one out of sympathy.




Here's an odd pair... an annoying celebrity who makes his living by acting stupid and speaking in a goofy voice... along with Adam Sandler.




"Pill lady?!! PILL LADY!!??!"