“Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a cat, and for my sins, they gave me one.” – Captain Willard, Apocalypse Now

OK, maybe that’s not what exactly Martin Sheen actually said in that classic movie, but it’s a pretty good description of how we feel right now.

We have this cat named Anne Murray. This is her:



Only a cat could be pretentious enough to think it looks positively regal lying in a cardboard box.

Anyway, here’s the problem... We had a double-glass door walled in recently, and ever since the remodeling was done, the cat has been urinating and crapping in front of the new wall. We’ve tried everything we can think of to make her stop, but no dice. We’ve tried spraying that stuff that’s guaranteed to make your cat and dog stop doing his/her business in any given area, and what we’ve learned is that stuff really only adds a vaguely chemically after-smell to the smell of cat urine. The cat CONTINUES to do her business along the wall, and nothing seems to help.

If it were up to me, I’d just get rid of the cat. The thing is, this isn’t so much “our” cat as it is “Wendy’s” cat, when you get right down to it. And every time I suggest getting rid of the cat she bursts into tears and calls me a rotten heathen bastard.

Any cat owners out there with any suggestions, please fire away. I’m desperate and sick of my family room smelling like cat pee pee.