Click this link and read this story that my local newspaper published. I PAID for this newspaper, I PAID to read this story. Please click it and go read the story, so you’ll know that nothing I’m quoting below is made up. Go ahead, click it and read it. I’ll wait here.

Did you read it? CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT CRAP??

In case you didn’t read it, let me sum it up…

Leith Marrow, a pretty and terribly immature student at Hollins University is a big Guns N’ Roses fan. She listens to their music, buys G-N’-R paraphernalia, travels great distances to see members of the band perform, and makes out with their drummer.

How is this remotely newsworthy? Even in the newspaper’s Extra section, where the stories are light and usually entertainment related, how does something like this get published? Here are a few clips from the article:

Merrow has...thought a lot about Axl and how it's possible for a man to sing such a sentimental song and then turn around and sing a misogynist ditty like "It's so Easy." Merrow thinks Axl has probably earned his reputation as a jerk, but she forgives him. “He has a lot of mental problems," she says. "As an avid psychology student, I can accept his behavior."

Yep, that’s how it works. Destroy a hotel room or two, beat up your girlfriend, take a lot of drugs, and then go see a psychologist, who’ll tell you “Well, I can accept your behavior.” This poor girl isn't a psychologist in the making, judging from that quote. She's a battered wife in the making.

But it get’s worse:

Merrow had her first Velvet Revolver (A G-N’-R spinoff band) experience in May 2004, when the band played at the 9:30 club in Washington, D.C. Wearing a lingerie top, she positioned herself directly in front of the stage, hoping the band would notice her.
After the show, (Drummer, Matt) Sorum walked over and introduced himself.
"He's very charismatic," Merrow says. "We've made out twice."
The first time, they took a walk outside the club.
"He doesn't ask to do it. It just happens," Merrow says. "He's definitely 44 years old, but that's OK."

This is just sad. It get’s worse:

She hopped a fence and a few minutes later was standing in front of Slash. Merrow had long planned what to say at this moment, but she says her mind went blank and she basically spent 15 minutes hyperventilating in front of the guitarist...
After Slash left to greet the rest of the squealing fans, Sorum strolled out. He didn't recall Merrow's name but did remember her hair. "Then," she says, "he occupied all my attention."
Making out with Sorum again was fun, but Merrow says meeting Slash was "the pinnacle of my existence thus far. The fact that I met him diminished the god-like quality.
"Well, no, actually it didn't."

The Roanoke Times even published some of Merrow’s poetry about Axl Rose:

I pretend that I'm by your empty gravestone,
that I'm tied up in a church…
I do not know where you live…
But it doesn't stop me
from drawing you a birthday card
or a Valentine,
cutting my tongue on the envelope.

This poor girl. She’s bound to grow up and feel silly about this as an adult. I’m sure she’ll look back at the Roanoke Times, and Beth Jones, who wrote the article, and marvel that they took advantage of her like this. I doubt Jerry Springer would stoop this low.