I am 25% Hippie.

I need to step away from the tie-dye. I smell too good to be a hippie and my dad is probably a cop. Being a hippie is not a fashion craze, man. It was a way of life, in the 60’s, man.

Take the
Hippie Test
@ FualiDotCom

The thing that really chafes me about this is that my wife, who wears Birkenstocks, was wearing a hemp necklace when I met her, who has been to MULTIPLE PHISH CONCERTS and actually was ON TOUR WHILE PREGNANT WITH HER DAUGHTER during her first marriage, is LESS HIPPIE THAN I AM, according to this test.

Man, this is BS. I am SO totally not a hippie. There is no WAY I am one quarter hippie! I should have been Zero Flippin' Percent Hippie! I despise hippies! I'm practically Eric Friggin' Cartman!

I think the Grateful Dead were the worst band ever, and I think that Phish were the Grateful Dead. I violently vomit at the sight of a dreamcatcher. I believe in chopping down redwood trees randomly for recreation! I EAT BEEF! RARE BEEF! PRACTICALLY RAW! I think Birkenstocks are best used for kindling. I don't put a bandana around my dog's neck! I've never inhaled nitrous!

I've been continuously employed since high school! Since 11th grade, in fact!

I GO OUT OF MY WAY TO BUY EXXON PRODUCTS!!!

I VOTED FOR BOB DOLE IN '96!!! I'M PROUD OF THAT! I BRAG ABOUT IT! I'D VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN!!!

I LOVE "THE MAN!"

I AM HELPING HIM

"KEEP YOU DOWN!"

This can't be right! I mean, I OWN MERLE HAGGARD ALBUMS!!! I like them! I listen to them! I am NOT remotely hippie!

I WEAR A TIE WHEN I BATHE!!

This can't be right. This can't be right. It just can't be. It can't be. It's not right. It can't be.

"I said, I don't like hippies. I don't like cornbread. I don't like much."
- Lyle

Permalink -- Posted by Darrell at 14:23