My idea of Heaven is a lot like Mayberry.

Veteran television and film star Don Knotts died Friday of lung cancer at Cedar-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.


As the news of his death hit home, West Virginians remembered his contributions not only to television but to the state...


Knotts' notoriety reached far beyond the borders of West Virginia and the United States; media outlets as far away as India, China, Australia and the United Kingdom are all remembering his life and legacy.

In the Mayberry Heaven of my dreams, everybody has one of those "Fra-GEEE-Lay" leg-shaped lamps:

Darren McGavin was painting a movie set in 1945 when he learned of an opening for a small role in the show, climbed off his ladder, and returned through Columbia’s front gates to land the part.


The husky, tough-talking performer went on to become one of the busiest actors in television and film, starring in five TV series, including “Mike Hammer,” and endearing holiday audiences with his role as the grouchy dad in the 1983 comedy classic “A Christmas Story.”


McGavin, 83, died Saturday of natural causes at a Los Angeles-area hospital with his family at his side, said his son Bogart McGavin.

Yeah, I know Johnny Cash has been dead for some time now. I'm just still ticked off about it.


And I'm not sure what to make of this:

Legendary country singer Johnny Cash has topped the 'Awesomely Dead Rock Stars' list.


The singer beat other legends of the music world such as rapper Notorious Big and the 'King of rock' Elvis Presley, who came in second and third place respectively, to emerge as the clear winner in a poll conducted by Blender's magazine...


The list for the top ten 'Awesomely Dead Rock Stars' as per Blenders magazine is:


Johnny Cash.


Notorious B.I.G.


Elvis Presley.


Tupac Shakur.


John Lennon.


Jimi Hendrix.


Jerry Garcia.


Kurt Cobain.


Bob Marley.


Ray Charles.

My two cents:


Johnny Cash was awesomely alive until he died, and he still is alive when I listen to his music.


The Notorious B.I.G. (or, as I call him, the Notorious C.O.R.P.S.E.) and Tupac Shakur have no business on this list. If Blender ever does a list called "Most Awesomely Over-Rated, Mediocre Pseudo-Musicians," then that'll be the place for them.


Elvis Who? Look, pal... Chuck Flippin' Berry was the real king of rock and roll. Accept it.


Imagine there's no Lennon / It's easy if you try /

No over-hyped White Album / No Lucy In The Sky /

Imagine Paul McCartney in ob-scur-a-teeeee, whoo HOOO...


Jimi Hendrix was a genius and probably created the style that evolved into the reason that the sound of an electric rock guitar solo is my favorite sound in the world. Well, it's often my favorite sound in the world. Not always. Two words: Nuno Bettencourt. (Shivers)


Jerry Garcia was a musician? I thought he was a painter, an ice-cream flavor, a necktie designer, a gourmet tea manufacturer, and an advocate of unemployment. He also played music? Who'da thunkit? If only word of that had gotten around, I'm sure he'd have had a huge following.


Kurt Cobain was a loser and a crybaby: "Oooooh, my belly hurts. Oooooh, I don't like being famous. BANG!" Get over yourself and buy a new sweater, you dirtbag.


I'm not a Bob Marley fan, but I'll concede that he was a super cool genius pot smoking reggae guy. Or whatever.


Ray Charles was one of the single coolest human beings who ever lived. You might not call his music "rock," although he defied classification most of the time. Nonetheless, Ray symbolized everything that is cool about the rock aesthetic. He overcame racism, blindness, and a business that was, at the time, engineered to keep musicians poor. He changed popular American music forever. Culturally, we'll probably never recover from the loss of such a true original. Ray was so damn cool. Somebody ought to make a movie about him sometime.