It was with tremendous shock and dismay that I heard today that the Alton Towers Amusement Park in London has canceled "Muslim Fun Day":

Britain's biggest theme park announced it has called off the country's first "National Muslim Fun Day" because of lack of interest.

Alton Towers in central England was to open on September 17 for Muslims-complete with halal food, a strict dress code and prayer areas.

Music, gambling and alcohol were to be banned for the day and theme park rides such as "Ripsaw," "Corkscrew" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" would have been segregated by sex.

This is just so hard for me to accept. I mean, if there is one mental image that just spells FUN in big red letters in my mind, it's the idea of a group of bearded, turban-sporting men, waving automatic machine guns and shouting "There Is No God But Allah!" on the "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ride.

…The park says the event's organizers, Islamic Leisure, who rented the park for the day and were marketing the event, had called it off due to "insufficient ticket sales."

Insufficient ticket sales? How can this be? If there are two words that are linked together inseparably in the modern collective conscience, they've got to be "Islam" and "Fun."

In a statement, the park says, "Alton Towers is disappointed that the planned Family Fun Day Sunday 17th September has had to be canceled," with a park spokeswoman assuring Islamic Leisure would refund those who bought tickets.

Organizers had hoped to fill a niche for Britain's 1.7 million Muslims, some of whom may be uncomfortable with mainstream entertainment.

But the fun day had caused some controversy: a non-Muslim couple scheduled to hold their wedding at the park's hotel complained to newspapers that event organizers told them the bride and female guests would have to cover up.

The park promised the party would be exempt from the rules. A park spokeswoman said the wedding would take place as planned.

In an unrelated story, the Four Little Pigs Bar-B-Que restaurant in Benton, Kentucky has canceled their planned Jewish Buffet Day, scheduled for August 24th. No explanation had been given at press time.

(By the way, this isn't intended in a bashing-all-Muslims kind of way... this is intended in a Don Rickles kind of way. I'm not a biggot, and I am not anti-Semitic. Nor am I drunk, nor am I a movie-star.)