• You Started All The Wars, Mate
  
  I'm still not sure how I stumbled across this:
  
  

  A 41-year-old man has appeared in the Perth (Australia) Magistrate's court accused of making abusive and harassing telephone calls to Jewish community groups.
  
  (The man) is alleged to have made numerous calls to interest and welfare groups over a month-long period starting in June…
  
  He was not required to plead to the charges and was released on bail to appear in court again in November.

  
  
  Hmmm. Australian man. Jews. Belligerent tirade. There is, of course, an easy joke to be made here, but I'm trying very hard not to make it. The punch line would be extremely easy to put across, too… just grab a couple of pictures with Google Image Search and do a quick cut-n-paste job and there's the whole joke, ya know? I'm not going to do it, though. It just wouldn't be right. I'm not going to do it.
  
  DOH! Now, how did that graphic get up there by the news story?



• Those Bad Ol' Traditional Catholics
  
  Man, I just can't get enough of this kind of crap:
  
  

  This is the transcript of a news story from Australian ABC radio about very Traditionalist Catholicism. You can listen to it on MP3 here. It begins, after an narrative introduction, with the sound of the Christian Mass being conducted in Latin. After that sound clip, an announcer says "Catholics who grew up prior to the second Vatican Council, held in the 1960s, would know exactly what they're listening to, a Mass conducted in Latin.
  
  Among the many changes stemming from Vatican II, Pope John XXIII did away with the Latin mass, but there is a small minority within the Catholic Church who like things the way they were.
  
  At the extreme end, they call themselves Sedevacantists."

  
  
  The news story then goes on to detail the odd (to my way of thinking) beliefs of Sedavacantists. It would be fair, I think, to say that Sedavacantism is peculiarly anti-Semitic. Now, keep in mind that Sedavacantists are a schismatic pseudo-catholic group that is not in communion with the church of Rome and is not representative of other people with Traditionalist Catholic beliefs. Yours truly, for instance. That distinction, though, is intentionally blurred in the news story... it begins talking about Traditionalist Catholics and then moves on to describing a fringe group. It's called listener-manipulation. I worked in radio for eight years and I know all about this game. During the news story, an ex-priest named Paul Collins (that's right, ex-priest, so right away, you know that he's not really a reliable source on Catholic doctrine) describes Sedavacantism this way:
  
  

  They tend to insist on the necessity for Latin in the mass. They see that as a kind of sacred language. They are also highly critical and non-accepting of any reforms to the liturgy and the worship of the Church. So they want to say mass in the old style. They tend to hang onto old style vestments - all that kind of thing.

  
  
  And so, with one broad stroke, everyone who enjoys hearing the mass in Latin, who believes in old-style liturgy, and who prefers older vestments is painted as a Jew-hating Sedavacantist.
  
  Here's how it works: The average schmuck who doesn't know much about Traditionalist Catholic beliefs hears this news story. Then one day he hears a Traditionalist Catholic say something about how beautiful the Mass is when said in Latin. At this point, Joe Schmuck remembers the news story he heard and believes that the Traditionalist Catholic he's talking to is some sort of fringe lunatic.
  
  Media magic, folks. Michal Moorism at it's best. If you tell the truth acrobatically enough, you can twist it into something entirely inaccurate.
  
  I'd site sources and references to explain why this view of Traditional Catholics (or Catholics in general) is wrong and bigoted, but the successful selling this kind of "news" hinges on three kinds of people:
  
  
  • Those who hear this kind of crap and know better, so they don't believe it.
  
  
  • Those who hear this kind of crap and know better, but they hate Catholics and/or the Catholic church simply because they enjoy that hatred, so they choose to believe and/or perpetuate this garbage.
  
  
  • Those who hear this kind of crap and don't know any better, so they believe it because, hey, it was on the news so it has to be right. Right?
  
  
  If you're one of the first two kinds of people listed above, you already know that this crap is wrong, so I won't waste your time explaining it.
  
  If you're part of the third group… well, I won't waste my time explaining anything to you. Just keep listening to the media. They'll do your thinking for you.
  
  If, however, you really don't know much about Traditional Catholicism and you'd like to learn about it, there are a few things you can read and a few things you can do. Start with the New Testament. That's the earliest volume of writings that the Church ever collected, as guided by the Holy Spirit, to explain what her dogma really is. You might already have a copy around the house somewhere. You may have even heard a few verses from it taken out of context and twisted in hateful, unChristian ways. Don't let that discourage you. Read it. Pick one of the Gospels (Matthew is my favorite) and just read it. It'll take you maybe an hour. If you read some of it and like what you read, attend Mass and talk to a Priest. He can get you started in the right direction from there.



• Metallica On The Simpsons
  
  When The Simpsons season opener airs on September 10, Metallica will be the featured guests. Hey, you got your metal in my comedy! You got your comedy in my metal! The Simpsons and Metallica! Two great tastes that taste great together!
  
  If you're curious about what the band will look like Simpsonized, look no further:

  




• Jerry's Doesn't Show His Guts, George Takei Spills His
  
  Recently, a discussion about Jerry's innards devolved, of course, into a sidetrack discussion about George Takei. I suppose that makes sense. I've found that it's nearly impossible to discuss any surgical procedure without bringing up George Takei. (!!??!) In that discussion I referred to Takei as one of the "creepiest" celebrities out there. If you need a better understanding of why I feel that way, you can click the pic and watch a YouTube video. For the record, my repulsion to Takei has nothing to do with his homosexuality. I could provide you with a list of homosexuals that I like and admire, but I don't want to out anyone. So, no, it's not his gayness that creeps me out. It's Takei's utter creepiness that creeps me out. (I think it's the laugh. I'm shuddering just thinking about it).



• Speaking Of Chinese Things…
  
  Click the graphic below for a YouTube video that only an uber geek (like me) could love:
  

  

  
  And speaking of fortune cookies, the other day Wendy and I had to have tires put on her car and we ended up with time to kill. So we had some Chinese buffet food for lunch. (If I had to explain my weight problem in two words, those two words would be "Chinese Buffet") Anyway, at the conclusion of our lunch, this is the fortune that Wendy ended up with:

  

  Neither of us are sure what this means. Exactly how and/or when will these birds become entangled in Wendy's feet? And will the men in question be entangled in the tongues of the birds or in their own tongues? Either way, it sounds messy. I hope this happens while I'm at work.




• When Ficus Attacks!
  
  When it comes to wooden-gun waving, vegetable people, there's NOBODY in the same league as the Hebron Palestinian Security League:

  

  We in the west aren't even on the same planet as these people, are we?

Labels: Metallica, News, Politics

Permalink -- Posted by Darrell at 16:30