Short of shotgun induced blood splatters and maybe a real corpse...

"The unbelievably FOUL Men's Room at the bowling alley"

Hey, its a bowling alley.


I've done the child gone missing routine before. It is hell. Once my wife lost our son (3 yrs old at the time) in the Mall of America. He had followed me into the john and she didn't know. There's nothing worse than losing track of a kid.
 

I once was the child gone missing. I wandered off in a mall to an arcade or something, I forget, but my parents were frantic looking for me. When they found me they were furious, and on the way home pulled over in front of a synagogue and told me if I didn't like being with them, if I found them too strict I could get out and go be raised by rabbis.

To this day I still haven't left my parents. ;-)
 

I was going to show up unannounced and mutter violent things while fouling your bathroom and wandering around Walmart, but not now..