Just in case you'd momentarily suffered from the delusion that the world isn't a stupid place to live, here are a few recent news items to disabuse you of that notion:

• Chinese Reincarnation Blues
  
  It is now illegal for Buddhist monks in China to reincarnate without government permission:
  

  In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation."

  
  So as of now, if a Chinese government official ever walks up to you and says "Haven't I seen you before?" feel free to panic.



• Beauty Queen: "Duhhh..."
  
  This from Rey, a wonderful combination of beauty and brains.
  

  
  My apologies to the good people of South Carolina. I presume that there are a few good people in South Carolina.




• How Many Drunks Does It Take To Drive A Truck In Wisconsin?
  
  Try to read this story and not hear circus music playing in your head:
  

  Two Dorchester (Wisconsin) men driving one truck at the same time were arrested for drunken driving in the Abbotsford area about 170 miles northwest of Madison.
  
  Harvey J. Miller, 43, who has no legs, steered the 1985 Chevrolet truck while Edwin H. Marzinske, 55, operated the brake and gas pedals, according to a report from the Colby/Abbotsford police.
  
  Miller, who was sitting in the driver's seat, admitted he'd had too much to drink but argued that he wasn't really operating the truck since he had no legs to push the pedals, the report said. He received a citation for a third drunken driving offense.

  
  The answer to my question, apparently, is one and a half.



• "Excuse Me, Deacon, You're Tearing Off My Scrotum."
  
  They call Alabama the Crimson Tide. Call this guy Deacon Blue Balls:
  
  

  Aggravated assault charges have been filed against (Allen Beckett), a church deacon and University of Oklahoma Sooners fan after officials say he grabbed a University of Texas fan between the legs during a scuffle in an Oklahoma bar...
  
  ...the police report described what happened to the victim, including graphic details about his injuries that included a torn scrotal sack with partially exposed testicles.
  
  (Beckett's lawyer said) "Sure, he's an OU fan. Not necessarily an overboard die-hard OU fan..."

  
  Oh, of course. I mean, an overboard die-hard OU fan would have really messed that UT fan up.

Labels: News, You Tube