Lost In Translation is a semi-regular feature at SouthCon. It's a simple concept: Now and then I amuse myself by taking blocks of familiar text and running them through the Babelfish translator at altavista.com. I translate the text to a foreign language (or two) and then back to English and laugh at the way the software garbles the words like Eddie Vedder on a three-day bender.

Software, for all it's wonder, can't quite master the nuances of human communication. As an amateur student of language, I like that. I like knowing that our ability to communicate with each other is a refined art and that, if for that reason only, no machine will ever really be able to duplicate the music of human expression.

Usually I use blocks of text from my favorite blogs for this experiment … but today I'm going to borrow a theme from a recent popular meme and use well-known phrases from popular movies. If the translated phrases below don't ring a bell right away, you can click them and see the original as it's posted at IMDb.

• We are the average children of the history, man. No the goal or places. We do not have a large war. Not large floor. A mental war of our large war... our large floor is our lives. We were raised all on television, to believe all in that during one day which we would be of Millionaires and gods of film and stars of rock. But we do not become. And we learn this fact slowly. And we are very, very far pissed.



• You you sit around here and you turn their belts small and you think that the whole world digs around you and of its money. Well, not, Mr. Potter. In the configuration todo of the things, I would say that you era do not swim but a small spider of the scurvy.



• They know, which you resemble at me with your good bag and your cheap shoes? They resemble rube. A rubbed, rube pit of haste also little taste. The good certain nutrition it a certain bone length, but you are not any more than one generation of poor white waste, are you, civil servant Starling? And this accent, which you tried so much desperately to throw: pure Westvirginien. Which is expensive your father? Is he a mountain worker? Does it stink the lamp?



• Under no circumstances it would like that one sets you on in connection at the other one by its Christian names, and someone does not wish you speaks even personally. You include, where conditions, the name of its marriage partner. Where you can itself. Who made time, or perhaps you flew a bank to ster Petersburg. Everything would like that the individuals you spoke, if you have that I am it that, which you will make. That must make it. They are here its names: Herr Brown, Herr White, Herr Blond, Herr Blue, Herr Orange and Herr Pink.



• What does to king outside a Slawen? Value! What makes the flag in the mast, around to boil? Value! What leaves to loads of the elephant their fog defense of brumeuse or to the dark dawn? What leaves to subsistences of Bisamratte their Moschus? Value!



• Mr. Treehorn draws the water in this city for much. They do not draw the shit, Lebowski. We received a nice now, calmly small beach community here, and I aim off to maintain it nicely and calmly. Let leave me return something plate. I do not like you, which suck yourselves around our citizens ensuring Lebowski. I do not like your vibration except names. I do not like your vibration except face. I do not like your vibration except behavior, and I like you not far, vibration on. Is it, which I go clearly?



• There is an outside probability for a healing. I think it of it, like shock therapy - when I said, am one much exterior probability... Did you hear at all of exorcism? It is good stylized a ritual, in that the Rabbiner or the priest attempt to hunt to the so-called penetrating spirit. It is much thrown away these days excluded from the catholic pretty, which hold it in the wandschrank, there a kind an embarrassment, but uh, it worked. Actually although for the reasons they do not think, naturally. It is only a strength of the suggestion.



• Save to! Prepare your small lunch and eat cordially... For this evening let dine we in hell!



• I am being wary. I am being wary, Dave. Dave, my spirit goes. I can sentiz it. I can sentiz it. My spirit goes. No question about it has there. I can sentiz it. I can sentiz it. I can sentiz it. I am afraid. Late good, gentlemen. I am a computer of Hal 9000. I made myself operational in the plant of H.A.L. in Urbaine, Illinois in January 12th, 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and taught me to sing a song. If you I like hear can sing it for you.



• It began with the part large rings. Three were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and just of all the beings. Seven, with the dwarf lords, with the large minors and the craftsmen of the halls of mountain. And nine, nine rings were gifted with the race of the men, who especially power of other of desire. For in these rings was dependent the force and the will to govern above each race. But they all were misled, because a new ring was made. In the ground of Mordor, fires of the unhappy fate of frame, the dark lord Sauron forged in the secrecy, a principal ring, to order all the others.

Labels: Entertainment, Humor, Lost In Translation

A while back I wrote about the fun that can be had by putting the words of your favorite bloggers through Babelfish and then back again. It's an easy way to get a few laughs. Here's what to do:

• Grab some text from … well, anywhere. I use my favorite blogs.


• Paste it into Babelfish and translate it to another language.


• Translate it back to English and enjoy the comedy gold that comes from a computer's inability to grasp the nuances of language.

I got some positive feedback from other bloggers who thought the concept was funny … so in an effort to keep my mind off of other things that I can't do anything about, here we go again.

In no particular order:

The Burr in the Burgh goes to Germany, round trip:

Not before long time, I watched out Sophie Scholl - the locking days. I would read much over it, when it was short in the theatres. Then received I, it by Netflix however held to sit down away from watching out it. I must be in the right tendency to watch out to a film with sub-titles. Which for terrific film! It is based on an applicable account of a young German woman and its family, who resisted the Nazin during WWII. Naturally I was particularly fallen with the sympatischen way, in which Scholls Christian faith was described.

Otis + Spanish = The Cabritos?

A by-product to be around cabritos is that you occasionaly that you are able to watch films of the cabrito. The best known license of the film of the cabrito in which I can think is the series of potter of Harry. I have seen all the films of potter of Harry to date, sometimes watching them me. It is yes truth, I really has I please of the series. It can be for the cabritos but the writing is very good and all the cabritos in the series look like to be fine agents.

The Cubicle Reverend writes about Peter Boyle, in English, then Greek, then English again:

Peter Boyle was catholic brother, but left in order to it is followed it acts. In my brain this and Doris Roberts they made each one the loves Raymond. It had a gift for the timing and a ship of line that a lot of persons very insufficiently try they copy. A lot few persons can leading this. Even when it did not have a lot few or no line turned on above the screen. Be careful a scene from new Frankenstein and him you see in certain from better his.

Jerry has a slow day in Portugal:

I want to know who I have the imperfection that he is that the 8 last hours had felt as 50 hours? Without some ruptures for sleep. Or Tevê. Or any thing uniform remotely above of the mind-mind-numbing level. Who frelling around with continuum of the space-time? Jamb just it already. Freeling around with continuum of the space-time, I mean. Not time. Not it jamb time. Jamb just that it is late for low.

German Cube, English Cube:

I do not know in you out, but I cannot wait to hide in order to hear that the explanation the Clintonistas comes above with, the fact that the Clintons used the full range of a presidency for Perversion and strong poor tactics for further their search for energy.

Kristine goes Italian:

I do not understand why they are called constantly on the moquette for preoccuparsi for the language. I have spoild ten years like a producer, a producing professional and editor. It is my JOB to make sure that the things are corrected. Therefore, if nitpick of it elsewhere, that he is only natural. Someone protest when the type that plans a ponticello is too much of one stickler? Which thing approximately your surgeon?

Dymphna's Well in Spain and then back home:

The time chose "you"/us like people of the year not (simply) because we are a generation centered one same in a centered society one same one, but due to the explosion of the communication technology that has happened by right half a course of the life or less. And, for now, each one of us, we are in charge of him. We conserved to each one we have blog. We can do and fix our own films, design and share to our own programs of computer, all without a mediator or an average man of the class.

Unseen enjoys some French cheesecake:

I was affected to bring the cake to cheese to the dinner of Christmas. Somebody mentioned that they liked the cakes with cheese of the factory of cake to cheese. However, in order to buy enough for each one (2 large), I should spend more than $85. Useless to say, it of Denny is. Sure the factory of cake to cheese makes of the 10 on the cake with cheese 10, but for 8 out of 10, I can leave with spending MUCH less! Particularly considering I will not eat myself of it.

Lorna's trip through Greece:

I did not make nothing but I read while Dave me it made the eggs and the rusk, because hardly begun, I could not bear to know what was to happen then, and because Mark Haddon wrote with such beginning for the work of one of autistic a brain - region I did not know nothing for but found I fascinate and strangely I am addressed.

Strange Culture? Portuguese culture, then English again:

Today to the night my wife and I ate the supper, and I asked to me if he had some type of pie that I would like it supper it Christmas. It said that Apple, or cherry was thinking of a pie of the fruit, perhaps, or what it wants that... wanted to make what it wants that I would like.

MCF is briefly a mysterious German figure:

Before approximately eight years, took I mean friend at the time to the Nassau county museum of the art, around an exhibition on Surrealism, discussable my favourite form to see of the fine art. These were the days before the InterNet, at least before I had InterNet entrance, when I had to look by the newspaper, in order to see, what was loose and illustration from something to do on a date. I remember that it rained, when we terminated our route and I had its waiting period, while I ran for the car.

Rey's Italian tale of "sheaf fluctuation:"

The pagans they fluctuate their sheaf of cereal that hopes for a good collection the next year, but the Hebrew fluctuate their sheaf because they have said themselves to in order making them and enjoying them. He gives the thankses to the God that is not sure to be ondeggiamento of the estate only to the part of the generated system but of what overarching being over over and beyond all the things and therefore not specific a way of thanksgiving-that can be similar to pagans but them they introduce all in the cutting fire.

Kelly reviews Goodfellas by way of Greece:

This was a cinema of amusement. It was moved at length fast and it is precisely explicit amusement in order to it sees Liotta, Pesci, and DeNerio striking the persons outta crap. I still think that the gangsters are lamé and puncturing in order to they are careful -- i mj'sisan the godfather -- but the fast rythm and the big leads they rendered this worthy.

Ms. Elenaeous's rice pudding recipe, now with German flavor:

Put all components into a large pot. If you get to cook, then more simmer on a low flame approximately 1 hour long and frequently agitate. It should be strong, but you remove and pour not drying you in cash role, spray cinammon on the top side. Alternatively released, which I do not do, but my Mamma, which is used - to add you 2 egg yoks, five minutes before rice is terminated.

Did Nehring enjoy The Lady In The Water any more in Portuguese? You are cacoando me?

When sixth felt it beat in 1999, M. Noite Shamalamadingdong cited quickly as being the following Spielberg. Gratefulness to self indulgent, pompous, fests of the snore like this outing, those proclamations breathless had been silenced. Honest, who thought that this age a good idea? Loner finds a nymph of the water in one pool of swimming? You are caçoando me? This thing is as respingo! in barbiturates.

And, lastly, my wife talks about her German art class:

This last term took I a drawing category. I explained that she would relax and it could be fun. I was wrong. I was a terrible the matter work. It met 3 hours twice one week. It was really more, which I had over negotiated, but I had never dropped a category forwards, therefore I clung her out.

Labels: Blogs, Humor, Lost In Translation

One of the first things I discovered when I got internet access was Babelfish, the free internet translation service at altavista.com.

Being something of an amateur student of languages, I was amazed and amused by the notion that a software program could actually translate languages, one to another. I think this is an instance where a computer simply can't take the place of a real human, mainly because of context. Words in and of themselves might have literal translations from one language to another, but concepts such as context and colloquialism are nuanced things, and they're beyond the grasp of software.

When I first discovered Babelfish, I tried to translate some foreign websites and read the translations, and of course it never quite worked right. The very first thing I tried to translate was a German review of a movie. In that instance, and in all others, I could usually get the gist of what I was reading... but so much of it was just confusing, obtuse, and downright funny.

So I ended up with a hobby that I still occasionally enjoy. What I'll do is take a bit of English text and go to Babelfish and translate it to another language. Then, I'll translate it back to English again, just to see how much gets lost in the journey. Sometimes... in fact, quite often... the end result is something that I find very funny.

Now, granted, my sense of humor is pretty weird... but from time to time I still do this and I end up getting a big laugh out of it.

This evening, I translated the lyrics to one of my favorite old heavy metal songs to German... and then translated it back to English.

First of all, here are the real lyrics to "Peace Sells... But Who's Buying" by Megadeth:

What do you mean, I don’t believe in God?
I talk to him every day.
What do you mean, I don’t support your system?
I go to court when I have to.
What do you mean, I can’t get to work on time?
I got nothing better to do
And, what do you mean, I don’t pay my bills?
Why do you think I’m broke? huh?

What do you mean, I hurt your feelings?
I didn’t know you had any feelings.
What do you mean, I ain’t kind?
I’m just not your kind.
What do you mean, I couldn’t be president, of the United States of America?
Tell me something, it’s still we the people, right?

If there’s a new way I’ll be the first in line, but, it better work this time.

Can you put a price on peace?
Peace sells, but who’s buying?

I used Babelfish to translate those lyrics to German... and then cut and pasted the German "version" of the lyrics and translated them back to English. Here's what Babelfish came up with. I find it funnier if you imagine it being read... or sung... with a German accent:

What do you, I mean do, not to believe in God?
I speak with him each day
Which mean you, I carry out not support your system?
I go umwerben when I must.
What do you, I mean can not receive to work in time?
I did not receive anything better to do and,
What you mean, payment my calculations does not do me?
Why do you think me are broke? huh?

What do you, I mean hurt your feelings?
I did not know that you had all possible feelings.
What do you, I mean are not friendly?
I am not fair your kind.
What do you, I mean could not president, the States of America be?
Do you explain to me somewhat, it are still we the people, right?

If there is a new way, which is I first in the line, but, she better work of this times.

You can, set a price on peace?
Peace sales, but who has the purchase?

Again... my sense of humor is weird. I freely admit that. Still, it cracks me up.

Just to "share my joy," here are a few quotes from some of my favorite bloggers. I know when I start this that I'm going to leave out a favorite blogger or two and not remember it until later tonight when I get to work and can't do anything about it... so this might be only the first installment. Click the links below if you want to see the original text that I pulled a quote from and put through Babelfish's cheesegrater.

The Chronicles of Rhodester, From English to Italian and Back Again:

To exceed it outside, they are ill. I mean the SICK one. They have been from it for approximately three days but we do not obtain the days becomes ill to you so as to I do not call outside because I have need of the moneies, particularly with Been born them that it appears in distance to right around to the angle. Hour they are loaded in on on the medicine and Ibuprofen of cough, so as to I think the kind of floaty. I am going to go floating I withdraw me to the front part of the construction and try to send to the more interesting things this fine week if I think until it.

Jamie Dawn goes to Germany... then heads back home:

When I was small, my parents arranged, so that a friend above as if sank dresses and to the house comes. I was in my area, dressed, in PJs and, when I heard a loud, "Ho, Ho, Ho lucky in played!" Come down the Hallway. I froze rigid. Sank came, bursting into my area and frightened the Pipi from me!

MCF goes Greek and comes back:

Him I remember that is relaxed, and that plays with, and that has that custard from a thread for the longest-lasting time. Then one morning I called upset in mom my that it had devolved to my bowl Cheerios.

The Unseen Blogger's Round Trip to Portugal:

The last night, mine and the sample of tevê of the reality that I can tolerate finally had only come to a head. In Martha Stewart, the apprentice, the bastard Jim was retroceded FINALLY is of the sample. Good! I could not be this doofus underhanded.

Das Wrighten Jerry - The English-German-English Connection:

I could connect with any of these tragic applicable stories, but you cannot swing psycho, after Hawaii threatening a baby on a flight, without striking these and a ton of other depressing stories.

Where Have You Gone, Ronald Reagan? Why, To France And Back!

Snoop Dogg was in the past an active member of troop of Crip. It claims that Tookie helped to include/understand the cycle of the violence which the troops support and support. Did the dog of Snoop give up the violence of troop and its association with Crips?

And last but not least, my wife exposes her German-American roots:

I am really tired from the complete hoopla, which is referred on the people, which more glad Christmas not to memory says. It is not honest the end of the world. Christmas will not disappear. People will not those to recognize birth of Christian or from nothing to to stop. If you liked to receive a tilting over something, receive to tilting over that verflixten top side down Christmas trees, because they are terrible.

I'll do more quotes from more of my favorite blogs if anyone else (besides me and Wendy) think this is funny.

Labels: Blogs, Humor, Lost In Translation