We're getting our kids the Wii for Christmas this year... or, at least, we hope that we are. The pre-sales have all sold out everywhere, and we anticipate a long night in line at Wal-Mart on November 18th.

Even if we hadn't decided on the Wii, though, this commercial alone would be enough to convince us to not even consider the PlayStation 3:

The PS3 is clearly a tool of the devil.

The Wii, on the other hand...

Labels: Personal, Video Games

• Happy Halloween
  
  I hope everyone has a good Halloween, assuming that you'll observe it. Rey has a good post on the nature of Halloween, and whether or not it's kosher for Christians. I basically agree with Rey on this issue, and posted my own ideas about it last year when I did my seven part Halloween series. MCF is also thinking candy and goblins today, and in honor of the spooky festivities, he has posted a picture of what appears to be a dead animal hanging from a shower nozzle.
  
  If you like carving pumpkins but don't like all the stringy pumpkin guts and seeds, you might enjoy this virtual jack-o-lantern, with which I made the pun'kin at the right there.
  
  As far as treats go, my idea of a good treat is the Hidden Baked Chimichanga recipe that you'll find here, and I look forward to trying it out.
  
  I won't have my son Hailey this year for trick or treating, which is just as well because I have to work tonight. Wendy will be taking Willow and Liam, however. Since Willow and Liam are separated by little more than a year in age and since they look so much alike, Wendy thought it would be hilarious if she proposed to the kids that she take them trick or treating dressed as each other. The kids, of course, opposed this idea with tremendous aggression. I thought it was a hilarious idea, although one that would probably have terrible repercussions:
  
  

  "Hello, little boy, what are YOU?"
  "What am I? Scarred for life, that's what I am."




• Stand Still And Smile! Stand Still.. Stand STILL.
  
  We had our family portrait done for our church directory this past Saturday. If you've never experienced the joy of trying to hold perfectly still for upwards of twenty minutes, along with three fidgety kids, in a pose that nobody would ever assume in real life, I highly recommend that you try it. I also highly recommend that you try paper cuts. They're equally fun. The biggest challenge for us was Liam, easily the squirmiest kid I've ever known. That boy can't hold still for anything… and since he's self conscious about it he gets nervous and ends up making odd and painful looking faces when he's asked to smile. Basically, the whole time we were getting our picture made, the other four of us were frozen in these uncomfortable positions with these big fake smiles while Liam squirmed around like Joe Cocker on acid. The pose we ended up deciding on was the one in which Liam is the least contorted, although in that particular shot Hailey isn't approaching anything similar to a smile. He looks like someone just farted on his coffin; both disgusted and afraid at once. It'll make for an interesting picture in the church directory.
  
  The worst thing about the whole experience was that in the digital proofs it was painfully obvious to me that I'm getting balder and balder by the day. If you have a minute or two to stand still and look at me you can actually watch as my hairline recedes. This wouldn't be a problem if my wonderful wife would allow me to keep my hair the way I prefer, which is missing (like in my avatar above). She won't allow it, though, she makes me try to grow what hair I can, so I end up with the "going bald" look instead of the "bald" look. The "bald" look is much more dignified than the "going bald" look, in my opinion. At least I don't have the comb-over. Wendy's dad (who I assume doesn't read this blog) does the comb-over thing, thinking it hides the fact that the top of his head is as bald as a baby's butt. His head looks like an alien-spider trying to mate with a lightbulb. And he's available, ladies!



• The Future Ralph Kramden Award Goes To…
  
  I get a huge kick out of this story:
  
  

  
  Fern Park, FL (AHN) - A 15-year-old boy was arrested after he stole a bus and began driving a route and collecting fares from passengers along a public transit route on Saturday…
  
  Davis told the deputies who arrested him at the scene: "I drove that bus better than most of the LYNX drivers could," adding, "There isn't a scratch on it. I know how to start it, drive it, lower it, raise it."
  
  The 15-year-old observed the required speeds and all the stops along the route. One of the passengers, however, suspicious Davis' boyish looks and dialed 911. The teenager had two passengers on board when deputies pulled him over; 12 miles from his departure point….
  
  Davis committed a similar offense back in January. He stole a tour bus and drove passengers around; again, without incident. He was still on probation from the January incident when he was arrested over the weekend.

  
  
  If the kid ever gets out of juvie, I bet he'll be an industrious worker.



• New 'Tones
  
  The new Deftones album drops today. Based on two listens, I gotta say it's quite good. 3.5 on a 5 scale, easily their best album since the amazing, awesome White Pony. I was a bit surprised by the amount of vulgarity, though. I won't be able to play this in the van with the kids. I guess I'll have to stick to the new Weird Al when the kids are in the car, since they seem incapable of getting tired of it.
  
  2006 has been an outstanding year for music for me. The new Tool album has been my favorite release so far. Second place so far has been Gnarls Barkley's St. Elsewhere, which I guess might be called trip-hop or psychedelic rap. I love that album. I've also really enjoyed Morningwood's debut album and the latest from The Mars Volta. I can't remember the last time there were more than one or two albums that I actually enjoyed released in a single year.

OK, that is a misleading title for this post. As far as I know, no exorcism was ever performed on Adolph Hitler. I bet that title got your attention, though! And it's not entirely disingenuous, since Hitler, exorcism, demonic possession and Satan are the topics of this blog entry.

Fun stuff!

In August, the Vatican's chief exorcist, Father Gabriele Amorth, said that he was certain that Adolph Hitler and Joseph Stalin had been possessed by the devil. The reactions were predictable.

Secular liberals were indignant, pointing out that

• Catholicism is an archaic holdover from the dark ages, and while it might be quaint (in a Kerry - Kennedy sort of way), it is also hopelessly misogynistic (in a pro-life kind of way).


• The banal, superstitious notion of demonic possession is a childishly poor explanation for the intricate European socio-economic political environment that gave way to the Holocaust and World War II.


• BUSH IS HITLER! BUSH IS HITLER! BUSH IS HITLER!

Some Jewish leaders shocked the world by - GASP! - spinning Father Amorth's remarks so that they sounded anti-Semitic. Rabbi Marvin Hier of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles said that the possession explanation let Hitler off the hook:

“It says they’re really great people. Up in heaven, some celestial evil angel caused it all.”

In response, Rob Schneider issued a statement saying that he'd never make a movie with Adolph Hitler. After someone pointed out that Schneider is only half Jewish, the actor hedged his bets by saying that he'd never make a movie with Rabbi Hier, either. As an avid movie fan, I'd have been happy if Schneider had simply promised to never make another movie.

Now, don't interpret any of that as anti-Semitism on my part. As a Christian, I have tremendous love and respect for my Jewish older brothers and sisters in God. I love those bumper stickers that say "My boss is a Jewish carpenter."

For me, as a Catholic convert (and an often ham-fisted apologist) in the predominately Baptist south, Father Amorth's remarks about Hitler were a small occasion for happiness. I like it when I find myself in agreement with my Baptist and Fundamentalist family members. Most of the people in my family would readily agree that if anybody were in league with the Devil, it would have to have been the Über Bastard.

One reason this issue is interesting to me is that much of my family is of German extraction. I've never suffered from white liberal guilt about slavery since most of my folks came to the US in the early 1900's. However, the very supposition that my family might have a Nazi in the woodpile gives me a case of "der willies."

Another reason I fid the subject interesting is that I've had an exorcism performed on me. You read that right. A priest has used the ancient Church rite of exorcism to drive demons from my body.

You might like to know more about that.

When our family converted to Catholicism, we were privileged to receive a number of Catholic Rites in the process. Some of them, like baptism, communion and confirmation, are familiar with most everyone. Others, like the Rite of Reception, aren't as well known. Still another common rite that catechumens receive is an exorcism.

Now, there are exorcisms and then there are exorcisms. To most folks, the mere word conjures up Hollywood images. So, no, let me tell you up front that my exorcism didn't involve writhing in the floor or projectile vomiting. I didn't make any pronouncements about anyone's mother committing indiscretions in hell, either. Exorcism is just part of the package, and I received it with a number of other rites on a beautiful spring Sunday morning in front of the whole church. In a nutshell, what happened was our Priest put Lucifer and his toadies on notice that, while I might have fraternized with them in the past, those days were over. It's the brush-off, Satan, see? I'm switching teams.

I don't mean to make light of the Rite, I'm grateful to have received it, but I am willing to make fun of Satan himself. One thing I learned from C.S. Lewis is that old Screwtape is very proud and can't abide mockery. Ridiculing him can be a way to keep him at bay. Whatever he is.

My ideas about Satan have changed a lot over the years. I've always had a hard time believing in a corporal Satan, but I have come to see the devil as a truly cognizant and singular being. I believe that Satan really does delight in and work toward the ruin of mankind. Lucifer hates us for having God's love in a way that even the Angels never had, and the further he can sink us to his level, the better. He's basically a spoiled brat who is mad at us because "Dad likes us best."

Not that he isn't scary. He is. Like all brats, Satan is ruthless, vicious and vile. I believe that his potential for destruction is very much like it's represented in the movie The Exorcist. That's been one of my favorite movies for years, so I was glad when Father Amorth validated my ideas about that movie and it's inherently Christian message. Speaking about The Exorcist, Father Amorth said

"I know it very well," he said. "Fifteen scenes are very real, the substance of the film is positive."

He felt it was particularly helpful in showing how exorcism is of value when all medical care has proved useless. But he warned that the film is a “spectacle because cinema needs to make spectacles.”

My appreciation for The Exorcist is one of the many areas where I part ways with my Fundamentalist family. My mom, for instance, won't allow the movie in her home. This has more to do with Billy Graham than with the film itself. Billy Graham is the de facto protestant Pope of the South, and in the 70's he issued an infallible statement to the effect that The Exorcist was an evil film; that even the celluloid that the movie was printed on was evil. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Now, I'm not knocking Billy Graham, but it bugs me that the same family members who look down their nose at me because I try to follow the Pope's instructions are even more fanatical about Billy Graham. I like and respect Reverand Graham a lot, though. His TV crusades were a constant presence during my childhood, and I remember them fondly. I think of the man as a living Saint. He's won innumerable souls for Christ. I just disagree with him about The Exorcist. I think that the movie is very honest about evil, but there's a difference between being honest about evil and glorifying or promoting evil.

Another film that takes exorcism and evil very seriously, although with a far gentler approach, is The Exorcism Of Emily Rose. In that movie, the young girl who's battling a demonic invasion is comforted by a vision of the Holy Virgin. Mary assures her of the greatness and glory of God, and it's an extremely moving scene in the film. I'm spiritually bolstered by deep devotion to Mary; I wear a Mary medallion to remind me of Our Lady's example and of her advice to Jesus' friends at the wedding in Cana to go and "do whatever he tells you." Of course, I don't always follow Mary's example any more than I always follow my own mother's example… but, nonetheless, I still love and deeply respect both of the "Mothers" in my life, the one who bore me and the one who bore my Lord and my God.

I think that that's the secret to keeping Satan out of our lives. Follow the examples of the Christians around us. Follow the example of Jesus himself, of course. Surround yourself, if you can, with so much goodness that there's simply no room for Satan to squeeze in. I know that advice like that sounds clichéd and silly, but it does work. It might not lead to a life that qualifies as a good "spectacle," like in the movies, but it works.

You know in another way, it might be a good idea to think of life as a big movie… and to remember that Satan, like Rob Schneider, is always around, always waiting for his chance to pop up and turn a blockbuster into a total bomb.

Have a good weekend... and start it off with a couple of scenes from an all-toys version of Star Wars. I actually enjoyed these two clips far more than I enjoyed the last SW film, Episode Three: What A Load Of Sith. I found these clips more believable, too:

Best Line: "You got an ATM on that torso Lite-Brite?"


Granted, I'm not the world's leading authority on Star Wars, only a nominal fan, to tell the truth... but I did get a kick out of these brief clips.

I think they're from Robot chicken, if YouTube is to be believed. that's a show I've heard about a number of times but not actually seen on TV. I watched a number of Robot Chicken clips at YouTube this morning, and these two were the only two that made me laugh. Seth Green is one of the creators of this show, and may do the voices in the clips I posted. I dunno. The show must be popular in Hollywood; they've managed to land some big names for guest voices, including Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jimmy Kimmel, Scarlett Johansson... even Hulk Hogan!

All of which is fine, but for the most part, it ain't my thing.

Not that there's anything wrong with people who enjoy Robot Chicken ;)

Anyway, have a good weekend.

These alternate version trailers never get old when they're done well.

I get the feeling that I'm likely the last person on earth to see this one, but it's really good. How do you market The Ten Commandments to today's teenager? Why, just change the name to Ten Things I Hate About Commandments:

Warning: Features the voice of Samuel L. Jackson. Oh, yes, there will be F-words.

Other things I've seen recently that made me smile include the shameless Cute Overload, where puppies and kittens and all things fluffy are in abundance.

Then there's Gallery Of The Absurd, which lives up to both of it's promises. Yes, it is a gallery. Yes, it is absurd.

And in time for Halloween, there's the terror of pickles. Oh, yes, there will be vinegar.

Labels: Humor, You Tube

In a multitude of words you will not escape sin, but he who holds his tongue is wise."
-Proverbs, 10:19

"Still, I want the freedom to be myself,
I want the freedom to f--- around.
I just want the freedom to fail without
Bringing you down."
-Peter Stuart, What I Know Now

I started this blog in June of 2004 because everyone I knew was sick of my ranting and raving, and I like to rant and rave. I figured that the internet would be a safe place to rant. Between the gun nuts, the white supremacists, the anarchists and leftists and Nickleback fans and the sundry other nutcases with websites, I figured that the internet was a good place for a fat, grouchy redneck to bitch and gripe harmlessly. I mean, it wouldn't be like I was imposing my beliefs on anyone. Don't like what I write? Read another blog.

Simple. Right? No. Nothing's ever simple.

It isn't simple because I also enjoy reading other blogs, leaving comments, reading the comments that people leave here, etc. I like reading the opinions of others and responding to them. It's all fuel for the fire, and I'm a keyboard arsonist. Burn, baby, burn.

Not too long after I started blogging, the whole blog experience took an unexpected but mostly pleasant turn. I found myself forming "friendships" with other bloggers. Those who write the blogs I frequent and those who leave comments here have kinda informally formed something almost like clique. Next thing ya know, you find yourself with a bunch of "virtual buddies." My virtual buddies have included people with similar cultural interests, people who share many of my political inclinations, people I see as spiritual mentors, one or two (or three) bloggers who I just find irresistibly charming, a number of damn good writers, a bunch of fellow Catholics and a number of others with quirks and qualities which I just happen to enjoy.

Along the way, I also drug my wife into the blogosphere with me, although she never enjoyed blogging the way that I do and the pressure she often felt to come up with content to write about was sometimes more stress than fun for her. I always suspected that she was really just indulging me; trying to share one of my interests to make me happy.

I also got my friend Jamie into blogging, but I get the impression that it's a chore to him. My friend Otis is more of a natural, and if you've read his blog you know that he's just got the gift.

I'm getting off track. Here's the thing:

Blogging friendships, virtual or not, are a great deal like real-life friendships. Through blogging and reading blogs you get to "know" people (or, at least, to know the version of themselves that they present to the world), and you might end up growing to like the bloggers you read. I know that I have, anyway. And, of course, once you like someone, you end up feeling self-conscious about what you say around them.

For the most part, my goal with this blog never really changed. I started it to vent, mostly about politics in '04, but it's still really just my personal soapbox; a place where I can come and vent with the intentions of venting harmlessly. It's also a place where I can indulge my wannabe writer tendencies. I've missed writing ever since I stopped doing it for a living when I left radio in '94, and the blog has been a great outlet.

But here's the thing: venting at the blog was supposed to be harmless. Simple self interest prevents me from telling a friend, family member or co-worker when he or she strikes me as totally full of BS. I can't do that in real life, but I can do it at the blog without naming names or burning bridges. Or, at least, I felt that I could until relatively recently. If, for instance, I wanted to vent because a family member had said something mean about my religious beliefs, I could get it out of my system at the blog … but lately I end up worried that I'll offend fellow-blogger-A by doing so. If a co-worker is shoving a TV show down my throat, the blog would be a great place to get that out of my system … but I run the chance of upsetting fellow-blogger-B. And if, God forbid, I post a picture of a moron with McDonalds tattoos, brace yourself for WW III.

So right now you might be thinking to yourself "Hey, man, relax! Chill out! Don't take this stuff so personally!" If you're thinking that, you've missed my point. My point is that I do take these kinds of things personally. That's just my nature. I don't like to hurt people's feelings and it bugs me when I do so, especially if I've done it unintentionally. I started this blog so that I could write whatever I felt like writing and not have to worry that somebody's day would be ruined if I said, for instance, that Garfield is an unfunny and stupid comic strip which jumped the shark twenty years ago. Problem is, throw that kind of remark out there and it might turn out that fellow-blogger-C is, unbeknownst to me, the world's biggest Garfield fan. Then I gotta walk around at work bummed out because I obviously hurt fellow-blogger-C's feelings without meaning to do so.

Three incidents over the past week have really bugged me. One was when I vented about Heroes, figuring that I'd thrown in enough acerbic humor to maybe get a laugh or two from one or two folks, and I ended up upsetting MCF. MCF, of course, is a fellow blogger I've never met and yet a person I genuinely like.

The second incident involved a comment at the Hidden Blog. Unseen had mentioned that the secret service had questioned a teenage girl after she posted silly threats against the president on her MySpace page. Some prick made a snide remark to the effect that the Secret Service might be stalking underage girls on the internet. I thought that remark was crass and uncalled for, and I left a comment saying so. That lead to the prick implying that I must have some deep, dark, personal reasons for reacting negatively to charges of pedophilia. Yes, some people really are content to go in that direction with their conversations. I read the prick's remarks and asked myself "Do I really need this shit? Am I even enjoying it anymore?"

The third incident was when I posted a rant about a couple of people I work with (no names named, nothing specific mentioned) and how stupid they are. A close friend read that post and pointed out, correctly, that if my co-workers ever read that post, they'd "roast me alive." I was grateful for his clear-headed warning, and I took his advice and removed that post. Nonetheless, these incidents make it clear that my "harmless hobby" has turned into something I'd never intended. It has turned into a possible liability, a hassle, and a source of frequent irritation.

So, now what?

I still have the desire to write, and I still enjoy trying to find funny ways to voice the things that irritate me. It's just how I'm cut out. It's my nature. And, I still feel the urge to write film reviews, so film geeks will continue for sure in spite of the fact that Wendy's self-imposed exile has left me the lone contributing film geek. Writing movie reviews is less troubling because film reviews are more obviously subjective. Nobody ever got their feelings hurt, I'm sure, because Ebert hated The Usual Suspects.

I'll still post at SouthCon, but I'm tired of feeling like I have to second guess, reword, censor and stifle my ideas. I'm adding a standard disclaimer to the bottom of each post, and hopefully it will help keep things in check. Just take it as a given that every post I've ever written and every post I ever write in the future rhetorically ends with the phrase "But, hey, what the hell do I know about it?"

Besides, I can't just spend all my internet time kicking Otis's ass at video games.

"I hope you don't listen to me.
I don't always say what I'm thinking.
Sometimes I tell you what I think you want to hear,
But, most times, I just talk to make sound.
-Peter Stuart, Wish I Was Here

• Why An Exit Date Won't Work
  
  I've never seen anything that sums up exactly why we can't set an exit date for our troops in Iraq better than this cartoon:
  

  

  Pretty simple concept, right? And yet the Democrats don't get it. I saw this at Bullwinkle Blog




• Carnival Of Cinema IV
  
  Nehring's latest round-up is up.



• Uh ... Ooops?
  
  Looking back over the comments from yesterday's post, I wonder if I owe anyone an apology. To me, it was all a big joke. I seriously won't watch Heroes, and I was serious about my reasons, but the whole issue isn't a serious one for me. I think, though, that some of the comments indicate that there might be other people who take TV shows far more seriously than I do. If I stepped on any toes, I'm sorry.

This is old, so you might have seen it, but it's still good stuff from the folks at Jib Jab. You can watch the origial, sharper looking Java version at their site.

Labels: Humor, You Tube

• No, I Will Not Watch Heroes
  
  So stop asking. But since you brought it up, let me get this off my chest.
  
  
  Everybody is currently watching Heroes except for me. My wife watches it, half the bloggers I read watch it and write about it, my gay homosexual friend Otis even watches it, and the people I work with watch it. I can't swing a dead cat without hitting a live Heroes fan. It's gotten to the point where I've stopped swinging dead cats in despair.
  
  Now, here's the thing: As I've mentioned before, ad nauseum, I am anti-TV. So, there's that. And I'm especially anti-modern commercial network TV. I watch House with Wendy on Tuesday nights because if I didn't watch at least one of her shows with her I'd never see her. I am also a dedicated Simpsons fan, but I never get to see it. I loved Arrested Development, but every episode I saw was on DVD. I've also laughed at about half of the episodes of The Office (American Version) that I've seen, for a total of maybe four. I happily did not even have cable before Wendy moved in with me, and if it were up to me, the only channels that would ever play in this house would be The History Channel and Discovery. Consider that full disclosure. That's the extent of my involvement with the glass teat.
  
  But here's the other thing: In the words of Vincent Vega, you guys should "&%$#% better know better." All Heroes is (and you'll never convince me otherwise, so don't try, if you try I'll cover my ears and sing "LA LA LA LA LA.") … ALL Heroes is is NBC's attempt to cash in simultaneously on the popularity of Lost and the current wave of comic book movies.
  
  All of these shows are the same show. They rely on their ability to convince you that they're just about to divulge some huge piece of the mystery… they are, at all times, moments away from some big revelation that's going to explain everything. But they'll NEVER explain ANYTHING. You know why? Because actual explanations involve closure and closure means that the story is over and the story can never be over, can it? Not on series TV. They've got to keep you tuned in to see the next episode, or at least through the next block of commercials.
  
  On top of that, the comic book aspect of this show is particularly frustrating to me. Especially when people I know to be genuine fans of comic books are participating in the watering down of our beloved medium. Don't you people realize that the over saturation of the marketplace with any given genre always leads to the production of crappy, unsuccessful, sub par material? And that leads to the loss of commercial viability, which leads to studios and studio execs who are unwilling to put up the money for the next project in that genre… and that means no more super gnarly Spider-Man and Batman movies for, like, twenty years.
  
  So, no, I won't participate. Comics and good comic-based movies mean too much to me to help you's guys drive a stake through their heart. So PHTTTHHHHTTTTTTT!
  
  Here endeth the lesson. The soapbox is now available for the next prepared lecturer.



• "The Governor's" Folly
  
  My friend "The Governor," an occasional commenter at this blog, recently told me by e-mail that he had decided to go out on a limb and personally join China and other nations in condemning North Korea's test of a nuclear weapon.
  
  After thinking about it, I've decided to speak out against "The Governor's" decree.
  
  I think it's clear "The Governor" doesn't understand the nuances of this situation. And this situation, to be sure, is jampacked with a buttload of nuances.
  
  "The Governor's" kind of simplistic, "with-us-or-against-us" thinking has got to change. It's this kind of thinking that has squandered the good will that the rest of the world felt for "The Governor" after 9/11. Beyond that, it's sexist, racist, and elitist.
  
  At a time like this, can "The Governor" really afford to have a cowboy such as himself representing him? He's used this kind of propaganda, this "politics of fear" to maintain control over himself for too long. It's a shame that he's simply too backwards to see through his own scare tactics.
  
  Besides, how will the "Arab street" respond to what they can only see as further evidence of "The Governor's" imperialism? It is the height of hubris for "The Governor" to presume to speak for himself on this issue. Apparently he doesn't remember that if it weren't for spineless manipulation of the US Constitution by the so-called Supreme Court, he wouldn't be him in the first place.
  
  This Sunday, I plan to march in protest of "The Governor" and his outdated, unilateral policies. The world can't wait. I've already made a sign, depicting "The Governor" wearing a Nazi uniform and a KKK hood, waving a Wal-Mart purchased Bible with the Exxon logo clearly emblazoned upon it. Surely that sends a clear message. "The Governor" needs to be reminded that he isn't the only person who speaks for him. I hope you'll join me in my backyard for this march. I'll bring the bong, you bring the bongos.



• Elsewhere
  
  
  • Otis is at war with the ladybugs again. I'm just glad to see him trying to combat something other than his lust for Kevin Federline.
  
  
  • If you're like me, the single-panel newspaper cartoon Marmaduke always leaves you scratching your head, bewildered and frustrated, unable to grasp the sophisticated humor effortlessly weaved throughout each installment. That's why I'm thrilled to have found Joe Mathlete Explains Today's Marmaduke.
  
  
  • So which politicians actually do approve of the selective use of torture in certain instances? Only one that I know of: The de facto head of the Democratic party, Bill Clinton.

• Fabolous Woonded, Arrestud
  
  Hip Hop star Fabolous, known for such hits as "Some Song I've Never Heard" and "Some Other Song I Don't Know", is under arrest after having been in involved with his entourage in a Manhattan shootout:
  
  

  The 28-year-old rapper, whose legal name is John Jackson, was in police custody after being treated at Bellevue Hospital for a gunshot wound to the thigh.
  
  Jackson and his three unidentified companions told police that that they had just left Justin's, a soul food restaurant owned by rap mogul Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, shortly after midnight when they were accosted in a nearby lot by a lone gunman, who fired and ran away.
  
  The foursome jumped into a 2005 Dodge Magnum and took off, attracting the attention of police when they ran a red light.
  
  Officers stopped them and discovered two semiautomatic pistols in the vehicle, both apparently unlicensed, police said. All four men were arrested after denying ownership of the weapons. Charges were pending.

  
  
  Authorities announced that Fabolous was being held pending an investigation, and that he was being treated well. In fact, a police department clerical worker has been using crayons and construction paper with Fabolous in an effort to help him learn how to spell his name.



• One Nasty Divorce
  
  Sir Paul McCartney's divorce from his former model wife is getting ugly. Really ugly:
  
  

  (Leaked divorce) papers purport to reveal the marriage's steady disintegration. As relations broke down in April 2006, it is claimed the multi-millionaire songwriter lunged at Ms Mills, 38, with a snapped-off wine glass, cutting her arm and leaving her with a scar, after pouring wine over her head. He is accused of flinging his bleeding spouse into a wheelchair before "screaming at her to apologise for 'winding him up'"...
  
  It was also alleged that the 64-year-old broke a promise made before the couple's marriage in 2002 that he would give up using illegal drugs and drinking alcohol to excess.
  
  In another damning claim, it is alleged that a drunk Sir Paul "grabbed the respondent by the neck and pushed her over a coffee table" during a row following her appearance on the Barbara Walters show.
  
  Five months later, in Rome in March 2003 when Ms Mills was four-weeks pregnant, it is alleged that Sir Paul pushed his wife into the bath and then demanded she attend a concert he was giving in the city.
  
  In Long Island in August that year, it is claimed the star became furious after being challenged by his wife over smoking marijuana. "He became very angry, yelled at her, grabbed her neck and started choking her."

  
  
  It gets even worse. Believe it or not, the details I quoted above aren't the freakiest. I don't know if I believe these things or not. I mean, jeesh! It's Paul Friggin' McCartney! We're not talking about Mike Tyson, here. Paul, after all, was the cute Beatle!



• The Hillary Show
  
  US Senator and comic entertainer Hillary Clinton continues to wow her fans with her impromptu farcical act. Cube pointed out that Hillary has been wearing a cross lately, eliciting guffaws from her aids by occasionally pointing to it with a broad smile and saying "Look, everybody! I'm a Christian! I'm a Christian!"
  
  Hillary is preparing for the campaign stump, where props local to a given area are an important part of the vote-winning process. Hillary will be wearing her new cross when she campaigns in the "Bible Belt" of America. Here are some of Hillary's other props, along with the areas where she'll be wearing them in press photos:
  

  

  Hillary won't have to buy a new ski outfit for Colorado campaigning, as one of the twelve she already has will do nicely.
  
  Senator Rodham-Clinton's assistants have been busy keeping their employers various props packed for her various trips, and also making sure that Hillary's cross never slips over her clothes and touches her skin, leaving a nasty, smoking cross-shaped scar.
  
  Comedy critics say that Hillary's new act, the "Cross Stunt," is her funniest material since the "Sir Edmund Hillary Gag." You may remember. Scrappleface remembers it well, and so does the New York Times. In that classic example of performance art, Hillary claimed upon meeting Sir Edmund Hilary (world renowned for leading the first successful climb to the top of Mount Everest) that she'd been named after him. This slick bit of comedy was lost on everyone who didn't bother to check the records and find out that Sir Edmund Hillary didn't climb Mount Everest until six years after Hillary was born. At the time of Hillary Clinton's birth, Edmund Hilary was an unknown English bee keeper. KOMUDY!




• The Race Card
  
  Michael Steele must be getting desperate. The usually first-class Lieutenant Governor of Maryland … currently campaigning for the Senate … is usually above this kind of thing:
  
  

  Maryland Republicans decried as"racist"a Democratic congressman's comment that lieutenant governor and Republican Senate candidate Michael Steele "slavishly" supports the GOP.
  
  Steele, a former chairman of the state Republican Party, is black.
  
  Rep. Steny Hoyer made the remark Sunday as he introduced Steele's campaign rival, Democratic Rep. Ben Cardin, to a group of black business owners. Hoyer told the group that Steele had a career of"slavishly supporting the Republican Party."
  
  Although the House Minority Whip's word choice did not cause a visible reaction from the crowd, Maryland Republicans were quick to take offense.
  
  State Republican Party executive director John Gibson said in a statement that Hoyer's weekend remarks were"racist attacks"that referred to slavery.
  
  Hoyer apologized for the remark.
  
  "I should not have used that word. If Mr. Steele did in fact take offense, let me assure him that none was intended,"Hoyer said in a statement.
  
  A spokesman for Steele, Doug Heye, said Steele was"very bothered"by the remark.

  
  
  I'd imagine that Steele is more bothered by the fact that he's about to lose a Senate race to an unqualified opponent. Let me be the first to invite Steele to move just a bit south to the state of Virginia. We can always find work for a skilled, intelligent and capable politician such as himself. Personally, I'd love to see him in our Governor's office. Mike Steele is a good man and a natural leader. If Maryland doesn't realize that, it's their loss.

Today I got an e-mail from a producer (I suppose he's a producer) at E! Entertainment Television. He sent me his phone number and asked me to call him regarding the item I wrote about Christine Chubbuck, the Florida newscaster who killed herself on the air in 1974.

The fellow from E! wanted to know if I could give him sources for the the quotes and specific information in my story. Apparently, E! is working on a feature about Christine Chubbuck. I don't know if it's to be anything more than a five-minute segment on a news program, but I was glad to help.

Unfortunately, all of the information I have is drawn from the two sources I sited at the end of my post about Christine. All I did, really, was work my own prose around information from Sally Quinn's 1974 article about the incident.

Nonetheless, I'm surprised by how many hits my Christine Chubbuck article gets on a daily basis. It's currently my most popular single item.

And it's neat to have played a small role, however incidental, in the production of a national television piece about Christine Chubbuck. Her story is sad and moving. I'm surprised that it isn't better known.

Nothing here today, but I did put up a couple of reviews at film geeks, one for Bringing Out The Dead and one for Auto Focus.

Labels: Movie Reviews, Movies

• Otis's Stupid Girlfriend
  
  Bad news about the girlfriend of my gay friend Otis: Scarlett Johansson has signed a record deal and may have an album on the shelves by next year.
  
  This puts Scarlett on the list of actors and models who've recorded groundbreaking, awesome, enduring music. I, for one, can't imagine going more than a week without listening to the work of musical geniuses such as Minnie Driver, Naomi Campbell, Eddie Murphy, Paris Hilton, John Travolta, William Shatner and Leonard Nemoy, Jamie Foxx, Lindsay Lohan, Tony Danza, Jennifer Love Hewett, Joey Lawrence, Hilary Duff, Bruce Willis, Patrick Swayze, porno star Tracy Lords, Russell Crowe, Gwyneth Paltrow, Billy Bob Thornton, Tracy Ullman, Kevin Bacon, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey, Jr., Steven Segal (really, and his album cover is priceless), Peter Gallagher, Keanu Reeves's and his rockin' band Dogstar, Corey Feldman, and, of course, David Hasslehoff. Whoo hoo. Yay.
  
  What's worse, this empty blonde is recording an album of TOM WAITS material. Tom Waits, of course, is one of the best songwriters ever.
  
  If Scarlett even attempts a single song from my favorite Tom Waits album, Bone Machine, I will track her down and smack her.



• Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Marketer
  
  I also saw this great video at Otis's blog:
  




• Positive Political Ads
  
  Hot Air gives props to a few political ads that are not only positive but actually try to be harmlessly funny. Political ads, of course, usually turn into a mud-slinging competition. Right now in Virginia there's an extremely ugly battle going on between Senator George Allen and his challenger, Jim Webb. It might, in fact, be the nastiest political battle I've ever seen. It's nice to see a few ads that aren't blatant smear campaigns. And it's nice, too, to see my current favorite politician (Maryland's Michael Steele) in the mix as well.



---




• Who Shouldn't Christians Pray For?
  
  One of the most difficult and challenging passages of the New Testament is First John 5:16, which reads as follows (or thereabouts) in most translations:
  
  

  If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray.

  
  
  So, then, we shouldn't pray for certain sinners?
  
  As is often the case, there is much lost in the translation.
  
  Jimmy Akin analyzes the passage from the point of view of a Catholic apologist, and helps me make some sense of it:
  
  

  This verse is notoriously difficult for people of all theological stripes to interpret, and one of the reasons for this--at least in the English-speaking world--seems to be that it does not come over into English that smoothly, leading translators to fudge a bit of what the Greek says in order to better fit the idiom of our speech John does not literally refer to someone whose sin is "not deadly." That's an attempt (a guess, really) at what John meant by the Greek phrase he used (mE pros thanaton).
  
  My own thought is that the verse is easier to understand if you stick with a more literal translation…

  
  Read the rest of Jimmy's thoughts at this link.

Labels: Media, Michael Steele, News, Politics, You Tube

A year ago we bought a basset hound puppy and named him Chester. He's graced my banner (above) for... I dunno... six months or so. It's been quite a year with Chester. Here's 90 seconds of video that demonstrates how much a basset hound grows in a year. The first clip below was taped a year ago, give or take a week or two. The next clip was taped this afternoon. I had to wake him up from napping under the tree to tape him, which is why he was so grouchy. As I type this he's asleep at my feet, snoring like a freight train.

I'm still having a terrible time figuring out the perfect compromise between resolution and file size for YouTube videos. This one still looks pretty darned grainy, but not as bad as the last one I posted.

The other dog is Tilda, our beautiful brittany spaniel. Tilda, technically, is mine. Chester, technically, is Wendy's dog. For some reason, however, Chester thinks of me as his Lay-Z-Boy. If I'm on the couch, he's asleep on my chest.

Other basset fans might enjoy this video and this video and this one and this one and this one and this one, too. There aren't many Brittany Spaniel videos at YouTube, but for some Brittany action, you can check out Sammie, a French Brittany (not an AKC recognized breed, but still a cutie). Then, there's Hugo, a brittany who actually looks quite a lot like our Tilda. Then there's Rocky, a brittany with a beautiful coat who's owner, for some damn reason, decided to shear him, leaving him looking like a freakin' pit bull!

Labels: Dogs, Personal, You Tube

• Racist Remarks. Except, Not.
  
  Steve Lyons, sports announcer for Fox broadcasting, has been fired for making racist remarks during a baseball broadcast. Fine, except that Lyons didn't make any racist remarks.
  
  Lyons was broadcasting with Lou Piniella during game 3 of the American League series, and Piniella remarked that the Oakland A's needed to get "en fuego," which means "on fire" in Spanish. Lyons commented that Piniella was "hablaing Espanol," intentionally mispronouncing the Spanish word for "to speak" as though it were beyond him to pronounce the word.
  
  At another point during the broadcast, Piniella remarked that it had been his good luck to find someone's wallet.
  
  

  Lyons also said, "I still can't find my wallet" and "I don't understand him, and I don't want to sit too close to him now" in regards to Piniella.

  
  
  Racist? Certainly not. Not funny, either. A lame attempt at humor… but not racist.
  
  The thing that bugs me is that Lyons made the remark about having lost his wallet after Piniella remarked that he'd found a wallet. Race only became an issue regarding the exchange about the wallet when someone claimed that the remark was racist. In other words, it was the person who made the accusation of racism who actually connected Piniella's ethnicity with the idea of wallet theft. See the double standard?
  
  Lyons seems to be as shocked about the accusations of racism as anyone:
  
  

  "My joke was about a wallet. It had nothing to do with race. We were all laughing at the time. I'm being painted as a victimizer of Lou. At dinner later (with Fox announcers and production staffers), we all thought it was one of our better exchanges."

  
  
  Racism, as always, is in the eye of the beholder ... or in the ear of the listener. If you are bound n' by-god determined to find it, you will.
  
  Some of what I've read indicates that Lyons (who was nicknamed "Psycho" by his teammates when he played baseball) may have been a difficult co-worker. His firing probably has more to do with behind the scenes goings-on than with his actual on-air remarks. If that's the case, Fox should have had the kah-joe-nays to say so. Then, I'd not have lost so much respect for them.



• Daily George Allen Check
  
  How desperate is the mainstream media to sink George Allen's campaign for re-election to the Senate in Virginia? To find out, just enter George Allen's name in the Google News search bar and read the tone of the headlines that pop up. For every instance of objective reporting you see, you'll see ten instances of flagrant libel.
  

  

  Boy how the liberals will be in a snit when we send Allen back to the Senate in November. I predict now that you'll see a bunch of stories about how the backwoods racist inbred rednecks in Virginia have, once again, shown how backwards and stupid they are. I'm already snickering.




• The Nietzsche Family Circus
  
  I'm not a fan of the saccharine single-panel newspaper cartoon Family Circus. Nor am I a fan of the nihilistic ramblings of syphilitic pseudo-philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. And yet, when you put them together, they turn into something so wonderfully perverse that I just gotta love it. The Nietzsche Family Circus was one of MCF's Phantasmic Links today. To see the next strip, click the "refresh" link. After a while the images and phrases will begin to repeat. Until that happens, it's simply a wonderful experience. There's nothing that compares to seeing a father chastise a toddler on a stick-horse with the observation that mankind invented laughter because mankind, unique among all living things, experiences pain acutely enough to need laughter. WHOOO HOOO!







• Justin Timberlake's Music Is Kinda Gay…
  
  ...at least according to Timberlake's producer, Timbaland. According to the rap/pop producer, Justin's new album is quite likely to awaken the homosexual impulse in male listeners:
  
  

  "Some people listen to a song like 'SexyBack' and think, 'am I queer? Am I funny?' If you are that way, you're just that way. But if you're a masculine man, embrace it. Have a glass of wine, put the record on and invite your girl over to get sexy"

  
  
  Embrace your homosexual feelings by inviting your girlfriend over. Right. And after he gets there, you and he can argue about who gets to wear the teddy this time.
  
  Justin Timberlake, by the way, is dating Cameron Diaz for the media.
  
  I've just learned that Timbaland is from Virginia. On behalf of all Virginians, I'd like to extend to the world a heartfelt apology.



• Ben Affleck: "Uhhh..."
  
  I don't watch Bill Maher's program on HBO because, one, I don't have HBO… and, two, the site of Bill Maher makes me want to buy a gun, and I hate guns.
  
  Nonetheless, I stumbled across this clip this morning at Newsbusters, and I really enjoyed watching conservative pundit Danielle Pletka take Maher and that moron Ben Affleck to school on Iraq, North Korea, Saddam, and objective reality in general:
  

  
  And just in case you're one of the two or three people on the planet who isn't yet convinced that Ben Affleck is, in fact, an absolute and complete waste of carbon, I offer this next clip as well.
  
  But first, a few observations about the clip at the bottom.
  
  One, Lou Dobbs makes a couple of good points about multiculturalism and the fallacy that those who advocate English as a national language in the US are racist. It bugs me to agree with Dobbs, but he actually makes a good call on this.
  
  
  It bugs me far more to agree with that scumbag Maher, but he's correct that the burka (or Burqa) is a symbol and tool of sexism. In middle east countries where women are forced to wear them, hiding their face and entire body, there can be little doubt among reasonable people that the burka is sexism and oppression personified.
  
  Among reasonable people, I said.
  
  That leaves out that moron, Affleck.
  
  And if you need any proof that the average TV addict and the average Los Angeles liberal are complete and total morons, just listen to the way the audience applauds and cheers wildly when Affleck makes one stupid and incorrect "point" after another.
  
  Listen to Affleck say that this country was "founded on multiculturalism." Wrong, you idiot. This country was founded on the motto "E Pluribus Unum." Out of many, ONE. From many cultures, ONE CULTURE will be formed. ONE. Teddy Roosevelt may have been a bit of a loose canon in some ways, but he was dead on correct when he said that "The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities … each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy (with others) of that nationality than with the other citizens of the American Republic."
  
  Affleck also equates the burka with the crucifix and the yarmulke. Wrong again, and obviously so. Neither the crucifix nor the yarmulke have ever been used as a tool with which to suppress women. You moron.
  
  Affleck goes on to say that those who disapprove of religions which force women to hide behind the burka are racist and that people should be able to wear what they want as an essential freedom. Honestly, who's bright idea was it to put this moron on television and allow him to spout off such ill-informed, thoughtless, baseless, clearly inaccurate garbage?
  
  Actually, I guess it is a good idea to have a dolt like Affleck on the show, considering how the crowd goes wild every time he says something ponderously idiotic. I suppose Affleck and his ilk are exactly what the Bill Maher Program's target audience are all about.
  
  And the sad thing is, with those monkeys in the crowd hooting and hollering for each of Affleck's careless pronouncements, I'm sure he went home thinking he'd really come off like a brilliant political thinker. He's probably contemplating a run for public office somewhere.
  
  But enough of my yackin'. Watch the goofball for yourself:
  

The new Tickle Me Elmo toy is out and everybody just loves it, right?

Nope.

Dogs don't seem to be crazy about Elmo.

After a visit to Scare Factory and a look at the wares they have for sale, the same ol' stuffed dummy and fake cobwebs on the front porch just won't seem like enough this Halloween.

Scare Factory sells horror props for your local haunted house and whatnot. Some of it, I'll warn you, is pretty gross.

My favorite thing there was the easy chair with pop-up monster. Oh, the fun I could have with this thing:

Of course, nothing at Scare Factory is quite as scary as this video of what's apparently an actual professor teaching an actual class:

Just a few things I saw today:

• So Funny, So True
  
  Saw this at the American Papist:
  
  

  




• Other Blogs
  
  
  • MCF celebrated his second anniversary as a blogger with three fun posts. Make sure you catch all three volumes:
    
    01) Revelations II
    
    02) The Essential MCF: 2K5-2K6
    
    03) Cloakfest 2K6: P's & Q's
  
  
  
  • The festivities also inspired Wendy to note that MCF looks a bit like Rowan Atkinson... and that remark inspired Otis to grab the concept and run with it.
  
  
  
  • Nehring's Third Carnival Of Cinema is up. Lotsa good reading there.




• Salvaging A Bad Post
  
  The other day I posted a really cruddy blog entry. I was in a funk and I basically just vented here at the blog. By the next day, once a friend had pointed out to me how badly I'd come off, I felt bad about it. Not mentioning any names, but he's out there, he reads this blog from time to time, and I want to tell him that I appreciate his candor. It's good to know that we're close enough that he can tell me the hard things, too, without fearing that it'll damage our friendship.
  
  Anyway, the only part of the post that I don't regret was this video, produced by David Zucker as a campaign ad. The Republican party has decided not to run this ad, but it's still out there on the net, and it's really funny. Funny, yes, and true.
  

Have a good weekend!

Three bloggers, three hidden identities, and three very slow reveals

• Cube 47: The Blog
  
  Cube has been in my blogroll… and a regular read of mine… for more than a year now. Today I was shocked when she revealed in a comment at MCF's blog that she is a female woman lady of the feminine sort. That's right, Cube is a woman:
  
  

  BTW I just saw your superhero drawing of me for the first time. I am touched that you went to all that trouble for me. I love everything about it except one little thing... I'm a female. Now that's one heck of a secret identity ;-)

  
  
  MCF seems to have been as shocked as Wendy and I were. It's like the end of the classic videogame Metroid, when the hero, Samus, turned out to in fact be the heroine.
  
  Of course, the question is, why were we shocked? It's not as though Cube has been pretending to be a man. She hasn't written anything particularly manly … but we assumed she was a man nonetheless. I'll leave it to the psychoanalysts to figure out what deep, dark depravity that reveals about our souls.



• MCF: MCF's Nexus Of Improbability
  
  MCF hasn't kept us guessing about his sex, but he has hidden his name and image for two years now, and had some fun as his readers try to figure out what he looks like. Last year I attempted to unmask him, with mixed results. This week, MCF is celebrating his second blogging anniversary, and has rewarded his viewers with a couple of slightly more revealing pictures of him. One is a recent picture, although not a blatantly enlightening one. Another is a face shot, although one from 1979, when he was five years old.
  
  The thing is, with most folks, even in pictures from early childhood there's still something of our adult visage to be discerned. Typically, I find, there is a way to make the connection between a childhood picture of a friend and the person that they are in adulthood. All you have to do is look at the picture and imagine the person you're looking at in any of the adulthood situations that they've experienced since you've known them.
  
  With that in mind, here's my effort to help each of us better envision what MCF actually looks like. I've taken a few clips from some of my favorite blog entries of his from the past year and provided photographs of him actually in those situations, once again using just a slight bit of photo manipulation. Below you'll find clips from the posts I'm referencing, along with pictures that illustrate the clips. You can click the text to go to the original post:
  
  

  

  
  
  “This is my first time in New York,” came the largest deluge of words, “I stayed at a hotel and I slept for two days straight. It was great with the room service and the comfortable furniture, but I got tired of it. It's hard to find the small, quiet places here. It's such a busy, bustling city, but they do exist if you look for them. Have you always lived in New York?”
  
  

  ---

  
  
  

  

  
  
  Every once in a while a really fit girl might pass by and motivate me to keep pace with her, before my legs and my lungs told me otherwise and she'd leave me in the dust. Tell me that's not a metaphor for my dating experience. I was jogging through molasses, and I was an arrogant fool for even attempting to compete. It was then that I saw the sign for the one mile marker.
  
  

  ---

  
  
  

  

  
  
  At lunch, standing on line in a supermarket, an elderly woman behind me kept inching her wagon dangerously close to my heels, though I had no control over the speed of the cashier or the customer ahead of me. I stepped up to pay when it was my turn, even as that wagon again stopped shy of a collision, and she began impatiently and loudly slamming her groceries on to the belt. I stepped forward and grabbed my bags after paying, and as I walked back past the aisle she shoved the wagon forward with such force and speed, it would have knocked me into a newspaper rack had I not leapt a bit.
  
  

  ---

  
  
  

  

  
  
  Much like a character in the very promising new series Heroes, I found I could manipulate time as well as space. No sooner did my friend B13 and I leave Japan last week, then we found ourselves transported back to medieval times, where jousts, minstrels, archers, knights, and damsels in distress still thrived, a welcome sight for a Photo Blog Wednesday.
  
  

  ---

  
  
  

  

  
  
  Dreary Sunday, woke up before afternoon,
  Went outside, to see what my dad was doing.
  
  “Yo, dad?”
  
  “What up son?”
  
  “Why's my car onna jack?”
  
  “There's another spot to fix, another place to patch!”
  
  “Trudat, double true, though I just got outta bed,
  at least let me help you put the jack back in the shed.”
  
  

• Otis: You Know, For Kids
  
  Otis, like MCF, keeps his real name and image a secret. The difference between MCF and Otis is that MCF lives ten or twelve hours from me, whereas I know Otis in real life. We even work at the same place.
  
  Otis and I have had a bit of a Hatfields And McCoys war going on since he started blogging. Of course he'd dart out of the room like lightning if I got anywhere near him with a camera. He'd suspect, and he'd be right, that I'd use the picture to "out" him on the blogosphere. So snapping a picture of him has been impossible.
  
  However, taking a picture of him has been pretty easy.
  
  Last time I was at Otis's house I managed to sneak out with a few photographs. He was too busy arranging his Harlequin paperbacks to notice me pilfering them from his family photo album. MWA HA HA HA HA!
  
  And so, without further ado, I'm proud to present four images of Otis to all of you who read his blog:
  
  

  

  
  
  This is Otis's baby picture. Adorable little tyke, wasn't he? I won't speculate about his glazed eyes, but I've heard it said that he started experimenting with marijuana at an early age.
  
  

  ---

  
  
  

  

  
  
  Here's Otis in tenth grade. If he looks young for a tenth grader, that's because he was accelerated to the tenth grade at the age of nine. This wasn't done as a matter of advanced placement. This was done because the kids his own age kept giving him atomic wedgies. Tenth graders, on the other hand, simply locked him in his locker, which was where he preferred to spend the day in the first place. It was a win-win.
  
  

  ---

  
  
  

  

  
  
  This picture of Otis was actually taken at work. No, it wasn't the department supervisor who took the picture. And, no, that's not a cruel joke written in Sharpie magic marker on his back. That is actually a tattoo that Otis got when he was much younger. He also has an arcing tattoo across his midsection that reads "Too Legit To Quit."
  
  

  ---

  
  
  

  

  
  
  This is the most recent picture of Otis I was able to sneak out of his house that day. As it just happens, I actually snapped this picture. I took this picture of Otis on his wedding day. At his wedding. During the ceremony. Those are his formal shades.

So there you have it. Truth will out.

If you attended the Streisand concert in NYC last night, you got the chance to hear the legendary singer go all 2 Live Crew on her fans, telling one audience member to "Shut the fuck up."

Things started getting ugly when Bags Babs brought a George W. Bush impersonator on stage:

There was Streisand, enduring a smattering of loud jeers as she and "George Bush" - a celebrity impersonator - muddled through a skit that portrayed the president as a bumbling idiot.

Though most of the crowd offered polite applause during the slightly humorous routine, it had gone on a bit too long, especially for those who just wanted to hear Streisand sing like she had been doing for the past hour.

Eventually, too much became too much:

"Come on, be polite!" the well-known liberal implored during the sketch as she and "Bush" exchanged zingers. But one heckler wouldn't let up. And finally, Streisand let him have it.

"Shut the (expletive) up!" Streisand bellowed, drawing wild applause. "Shut up if you can't take a joke!"

With that one F-word, the jeers ended. And the message was delivered - no one gets away with trying to upstage Barbra Streisand, especially not in her hometown.

Once the outburst (which Streisand later apologized for) was over, Streisand noted that "the artist's role is to disturb," and delivered a message of tolerance before launching into a serenely beautiful rendition of "Somewhere."

This is the same classy broad who spoke before a Democratic Party gathering in 2002, saying in part:

"So, in the words William Shakespeare, 'Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind.'"

Only one problem… that little rant isn't from Shakespeare at all. It IS, however, part of an anti-Dubya e-mail that had been forwarded all over the internet in the months previous to Barbra's address before the Democratic party.

That Streisand. Boy, she's so classy. Right up there with 50 Cent.

• YouTube, We Hardly Knew Ye
  
  Remember CDNow.com? I used to go there a whole lot back in the day to sample CDs, get album info, etc. If you ever used CDNow, you remember how great it was. Then, without warning in 2002, Amazon bought CDNow. And it sucked.
  
  Most of what I know about HTML was self learned while I played with my own little Geocities site back in the day. Then Geocities was absorbed by Yahoo and all of a sudden you had to have a Yahoo ID to use Geocities and the file space went way down, etc. And that sucked, too.
  
  Now, just as I've gotten to where I use the somewhat controversial video sharing site YouTube.com a whole lot, it's been bought by Google. And, lo, we shall mourn this day the rest of our lives, and a great plague shall descend upon those who have shared their videos with YouTube.com, and there will be gnashing of teeth and rending of garments, and it shall suck.
  
  Google, after all, is the owner of Blogger… the blogging service I use to manage this site… and the blogging service I bitch about constantly because it SUCKS.



• Wow, It's Been 20 Years…
  
  … since Cliff Burton died. I remember it like it was yesterday, though. I was watching MTV one September afternoon in 1986. This was back when they still played music videos on MTV. Yes, kiddies, us old guys used to watch these things called music videos on MTV. They were like short musical movies… or, more honestly, they were like long commercials for different albums.
  
  Anyway, I was watching MTV one September afternoon in 1986 when a VJ named Alan Hunter came on to do the two-or-three-minute music news (they used to do it at ten minutes before the hour) and he said something like "The world of heavy metal lost a second stringer today with the death of Cliff Burton of the band Metallica."
  
  Metallica was my favorite band. I remember sitting in front of the TV in my parents basement that day with two weird realizations in my head at the same time: One, Cliff Burton had died. Two, I'd just heard Metallica mentioned on MTV.
  
  Metallica, you might remember, wasn't on the radar back in the day because they didn't do music videos. Hard to believe, but there was a time when they were underground and little known and meeting someone in a Metallica T-shirt was like running into another member of your very own secret society.
  
  These days, of course, Metallica T-shirts are as commonplace, meaningless and unremarkable as Led Zeppelin T-shirts. Or Snoopy T-shirts. Or Budweiser T-shirts, for that matter.
  
  James Hetfield reminisced a little about Cliff on the 20th anniversary of his death:
  
  

  "We never would have written guitar harmonies or instrumentals or songs with very intricate melodies and orchestrations without Cliff. We wouldn't be where we are today."

  
  
  20 years. Damn. Seems like yesterday. RIP, Cliff.
  

  




• Freedom Of Speech … Just Watch What You Say
  
  Liberals, of course, are aaaallll about freedom of speech. Unless they don't like your opinion. Then, they are all about silencing you, drowning you out and preventing others from hearing what you have to say.
  
  Freedom of speech, to the average liberal, only applies to other liberals. Nowhere is this more obvious than in the ivory tower of academia, where diversity of every kind is encouraged. Well, every kind but one: diversity of ideas is to be stopped, squashed and eliminated at all costs according to the academic liberal ethos.
  
  Recently, Jim Gilchrist of the controversial Minutemen Project was asked to speak at Columbia University in New York. A number of young liberals at Columbia disagree with Gilchrist's positions on immigration, so they did what liberals do best: they attacked. Literally, physically, violently attacked:
  

  
  Tell me again, left-wingers, how we redneck gun-owning Christian red-staters are such closed minded, bigoted, hateful bullies. More video and some smart observations from Michelle Malkin are up at Hot Air.




• Blog Checks
  
  
  • A website I mentioned by e-mail to MCF made this week's P Links. So did this great CEO coloring book.
  
  
  • I also got luv from the 13th edition of Links N' Junk at Rey's A Point. More importantly, Rey posted a link to a great free media conversion site.
  
  
  • The Unseen Blogger is literally disappearing. Check out the fourth thing he learned over the weekend.



• Déjà Vu, Al Over Again
  
  Another Weird Al interview… the first half of this one, with Paul McCartney, is screamingly funny.
  

  
  If you're as easily entertained as I am, check out his sit-down with Madonna.

Labels: Media, Metallica, Music, News, Politics, You Tube

• Straight Dope On "Straight Outta Lynwood"
  
  Al's new album, Straight Outta Lynwood is, I have to admit, hit and miss. Some of it is very funny, some of it isn't all that. That's the way it is with most comedy albums, though. The original tracks on this album are, to be honest, some of Al's weakest. If you're gonna just buy certain tracks from iTunes or whatever, I'd recommend the Usher parody, "Confessions Part III" and the R. Kelly inspired "Trapped In The Drive-Thru". And, of course, this album's polka medley ("Polkarama!") is very funny. The polka medley's are always funny, but hearing Al singing bits from The Pussycat Dolls' "Don't Cha" and 50 Cent's "Candy Shop" is not to be missed.



• Frequently Asked Al
  
  The FAQ at Al's official site is pretty informative. It verifies that those suspect so-called Weird Al parodies that pop up all over the internet (songs like "Windows 95 Sucks" and "Living La Vida Yoda", etc), aren't actual Al parodies. Basically, if it's labeled "Weird Al" but it sucks, it's not funny and it's not safe to play around Grandma, you can safely assume that it ain't Al.



• Al And Other Artists
  
  Most artists are pretty enthusiastic when Al parodies their songs. That includes Chamillipede (or whatever his name is), who is thrilled about "White And Nerdy" and thinks that Al is a great rapper in his own right. Not all artists are as graceful about Al's parodies. The famous Coolio controversy is detailed at the FAQ. Prince has also refused every request Al has made to parody his music. James Blunt backed out of allowing Al to parody "You're Beautiful" on the new album … after Al had already recorded the parody. So Al threw the parody out there for free on the internet. It's very funny, and you can download it from a number of sources, like here, here, here, here, here, here, here, or here, or here or here, or here, or here. Those sources are all listed at the bottom of the front page of Al's official website.



• Al TV and Eminem
  
  When Al has a new album to promote he'll often do a couple of hours of VJing on MTV, playing funny videos and stuff. He'll also take celebrity interviews and chop them up into fake interviews that are often very funny. His mediated interview with Justin and Britney, for example, was great… but the one below is my new favorite. Here's the deal: Eminem gave Al permission to do a parody of his song "Loose Yourself," but only on the condition that Al not do a video. For some weird reason. So, instead, Al chopped up an Eminem interview and fashioned the wonderful clip below:
  




• Odd Tracks
  
  Most of the faux-Al songs on the net are, like I said earlier, not Al. but, now and then, something that really is Al will turn up and surprise people who thought they'd heard all of his stuff because they have all his albums. I'm not suggesting that you go looking around the net trying to download copies of Al's songs, of course. That would just be wrong… but now and then you might be surprised to stumble across stuff like his song from the Pokemon movie soundtrack and some old radio promos, UHF clips, etc.

UPDATE, AUGUST 2008: THIS POST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ZACK SNYDER'S WATCHMEN MOVIE!!

I'm adding this update in August, 2008. My data tracking shows that this post is by FAR the most popular post at SouthCon as of now. After the Watchmen trailer was made available for public consumption a lot of people must have hit the net looking for Watchmen movie info, and a lot of them are ending up here.

So what you need to know is that this post was written BEFORE the current Zack Snyder Watchmen movie was in progress. Originally, the IMDB page I linked to featured bare-bones information. When I wrote this post Zack Snyder wasn't attached to the film ... at least as far as I knew. There is NO information here about that movie. This post is just a personal blog post, and I'm just some hillbilly ranting about how much he loves the book and about someone else's hypothetical cast for a hypothetical Watchmen film.

And, for what it's worth, I think Zack Snyder's movie looks like it ought to be pretty good. I still don't think that any movie could convey everything that Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons put on the printed page. But I do think that Snyder's film looks like it's going to be good fun.

And now, the original post from October, 2006:

• Who'd Watch THIS Watchmen?
  
  Not me, that's for darn sure.
  
  You might know that they're making a movie out of the Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons comics classic Watchmen, and I'm dead set against it. It's just impossible to convey the experience of Watchmen in any way other than actually reading the story in the medium in which and for which it was produced. Period. They might as well try to make a movie out of Dali's Persistence Of Memory.
  
  Anyway, I was looking at action figures on the internet tonight ('cuz I'm just so white and nerdy) and I saw some custom crafted comic book action figures at this page, including a pretty cool Rorschach from Watchmen half-way down the page. Wendy asked me what I was so excited about and I told her that I'd just come across a Watchmen action figure, which led to a little bit of question and answer about Watchmen.
  
  Yes, guys, my wife is into comic books. Read that sentence again and weep. This is known as playing the nerd trump card.
  
  Anyway, we were looking around the net for other Watchmen stuff and I came across the following hypothetical Watchmen movie poster… a piece of "fan art" … which made me recoil in horror:
  

  

  
  So, here I sat, yelling "NO! NO NO NO! NO NO NO NO NO!!! at the monitor. Not only is making a movie based on Watchmen a terrible idea, but this is the worst combination of cast, director, music, and everything else.
  
  First of all, as opposed as I am to the movie (have I made that clear?), I'd much rather have Zack Snyder directing it than that washed-up hack Shyamalan. These days, nobody can ruin a movie like Shymalan.
  
  And having Radiohead do the music for a film based on Watchmen is like proposing that … oh, I dunno… that Flava Flav do the music for a film based on The Dead Sea Scrolls. It's a total WTF proposition.
  
  The actors are all wrong, too. The only one I'd accept is Michael Douglas as Captain Metropolis, and that's because he's such a minimal and unimportant character. Ed Harris as Dr. Manhattan? Who in the world would buy that? Look at Ed Harris in that picture. He looks like some kind of blue serial killer. Come on. Dr. Manhattan is a cerebral, detached, post-human godlike being. He shouldn't seem like he's about to rip your throat out, and Ed Harris (God bless him) couldn't tell you to have a nice day without coming off like he wants to rip your throat out.
  
  Mel Gibson is all wrong for the Comedian, too. The Comedian is a psychopath. Gibson, in that poster, looks like Dabney Coleman. Catherine Zeta Jones as the Silk Spectre is just dumb. She can't act. She just can NOT act. Hope Davis might work as Silk Spectre, but, then again, I don't want a movie made from Watchmen, so, really, nobody would be right. John Cusack would just be a silly choice as Nite Owl II, and I can't for the life of me figure out why he's leading this informal fan pole for the role.
  
  Ralph Fiennes is an awful choice for Ozymandias. For one of a thousand reasons, that character has to be older. Maybe Mel Gibson could pull that role off. He could probably put across the character's megalomania. Maybe he could play Ozymandias and then Bruce Campbell could play The Comedian. He's leading for that role in the fan pole anyway. Not that he'd ever get the role... and not that I actually want the movie to be made. The only proposition here I could even consider is Edward Norton as my favorite character in the title, Rorschach. Other than that, this poster is really just a good iconic summary of how terrible the idea of filming Watchmen is in the first place.
  
  And, speaking of Watchmen, if you know the story and you know the characters, and if you know my politics, you're probably not surprised to find out which character I apparently scored as in a "Which Watchmen Are You?" test.
  

  Which Watchmen character are you?

  You are Rorschach. You are a crime fighter who believes that no crime should go unpunished and you will go to any means to bring justice to the world. But you might be slightly insane. Take this quiz!

  
  
  I'm fine with all that... but I resent the words "might" and "slightly." I also resent the fact that this quiz is really short, really lame, and I'm considering using my current obsessive knowledge of Watchmen to put together a better one while it's still fresh in my mind.




• Reverend Bob Said What?
  
  I don't know who the Reverend Bob Harrington is, but when I read what he'd said about The Simpsons at Bulletproof Bracelets, I got a little miffed:
  
  

  "Their father has replaced his faith in the Lord with the love of money, which is the root of all evil … They don't represent American standards and certainly not Christian standards."

  
  
  Then I realized that he was talking about the father of Ashlee and and Jessica Simpson … not Homer Simpson of The Simpsons. So I got over it.



• PCs And Macs
  
  There are basically two kinds of computers. Apples, or "Macs" … and PC's, or "actual computers." The following look at Macs is courtesy of A Golden World.
  




• Politics N' Such
  
  A few political items I enjoyed today:
  
  
  • Rich Lowry finds the good side of the Mark Foley scandal: finally, the Democrats are concerned about somebody's sexual conduct!
  
  
  • Ann Coulter is usually shrill, but also usually good for a couple of laughs. She's figured out what Foley's real problem is: He's a closeted Democrat.
  
  
  • Boy, there's just nothing that makes my day quite like the site of a bunch of aging, dying hippies at an anti war protest. Go, hippies, go! Go to the nursing homes! They already have bedpans with your names on them!

Labels: Media, Movies, News, Politics, Watchmen, You Tube

There's good stuff to read today at Nehring's Carnival of Cinema, including entries from SouthCon blogroll favorites such as MCF and Otis. Go read, go read.

Nothing here today, but I did write about five of Guillermo del Toro's movies at film geeks.

• WTF??
  
  Can somebody… anybody… explain to me how anyone could think that any good whatsoever could come out of making a movie like this?
  

  
  How is this even remotely a good idea? Who'd want to see it? I mean, I know that there are idiots out there who hate the South for any number of real or imagined reasons, but who in the name of Jerry Clower would want to watch something like this? Are there really people who enjoy and relish hatred that much? Who's this petty in 2006? I'm just at a loss for words.
  
  

• Xena's Husband Is Considering Divorce… And The Witness Protection Program
  
  Holy crud, this is soooo messed up. From Laconia, New Hampshire:
  
  

  
  Police said a couple were arguing about their marriage when the wife grabbed an ax and charged at her husband, chasing him around the house.
  
  The ax is considered a collector's item and is used for display, but investigators said it has a very sharp blade and is capable of causing serious injury or death…
  
  Police said that while chasing her husband, Masse destroyed several things inside their home, including a glass door and his car.
  
  Her husband ran to a neighbor's house, where he locked the door and called police.

  
  
  The woman destroyed a car with an ax. Damn. She then mounted her trusted flying dragon, Zogarth, and hastened to the far mountains to wage war against the giants who'd invaded her kingdom.



• Pokey Man
  
  Rey's latest blog post had me in stitches:
  
  

  My son started speaking at one and in his Borg-like ability to acquire language skills I found myself constantly surprised by what words he knew. I was constantly on the defense, answering questions. But then the day that every father dreads dawned, when his very vocal boy looks up at him, points between his legs and asks “what is this called?”

  
  
  Go read the whole story to find out what word was assigned to that part of the male anatomy, and read about the ensuing pandemonium.



• AlbertBot
  
  It's creepy, it's upsetting… and you can't take your eyes off it:
  

  
  I suppose they could have made it even creepier… for instance, they could have made it look like Ash or Bishop.
  
  

• Pro-Abortionists: "You Do Not See What You See."
  
  The three-dimensional picture to the right, a picture of a 12 week old fetus, might look like a human being to you and me. Seeing the baby in action, watching him suck his thumb, move his limbs and even seem to smile, might make the fetus's humanity all the more apparent. But not so, not according to pro-abortionists:
  
  

  …a group of scientists has now warned the scans could be dangerously misleading as they do not reflect the true nature of an unborn baby's brain.
  
  Dr Donald Peebles, a consultant in foetal medicine at University College London, said the temptation to associate foetal movements with adult movements was "incredibly dangerous" and said they contributed nothing to the debate over whether the legal time limit for abortion should be lowered.
  
  Dr Huseyin Mehmet, a reader in developmental neurobiology at Imperial College London, said that a foetal brain at 23 and 24 weeks was "extremely immature"…

  
  
  Oh, OK, I gotcha. "Extremely immature" is the same thing as not human, and, therefore, OK to kill. Does that mean that Marcus Vick isn't human, then?
  
  For those who support abortion on demand, Dr. Peebles is right. Making an association between fetal humans and adult humans is "incredibly dangerous." It might end up eventually making it harder for pro-abortionists to murder their unborn children in order to continue their self-serving lifestyles. Then they'd have to hold themselves accountable for their decisions and their actions. And we just can't have that, now, can we?
  
  HT: American Papist.



• Home Movie Thang
  
  I put together a big, elaborate home movie DVD for friends and family every year. Last year I posted the intro and I was surprised that a few people told me that they got a kick out of it. Well, I've been working on this year's version, although the intro isn't nearly as elaborate as it was last year because I lost half the memory in our multimedia PC and I haven't been able to replace it yet. Anyway, for anyone who cares, here's how this year's hour-or-so of home movies will begin:
  

Ah, crap. Just played it back myself and realized that the resolution I used to upload it to youtube looks like garbage. Oh, well.

MCF and Otis got me thinking about the new Weird Al song, White & Nerdy,... and I ended up pondering the song's greater implications with regard to race, culture, all that crap.

White & Nerdy is a parody of the godawful hiphop song Ridin' by some idiot who alls himself Chamillionaire. That song got played about a million times on the radio and on the music video channels during Chamillionare's fifteen minutes, and I got so sick of it. I absolutely despise that stupid song, so my gut reaction to the new Weird Al song was negative. Then I saw the video on TV the other morning and found myself laughing at the lyrics.

Here's the video, in case you haven't seen it:

At first I was laughing in a condescending way:

Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
MC Escher - that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea

HA HA! Right? He's totally right because that stuff is soooo nerdy, right? Because, you know, Dungeons and Dragons and hot tea, that stuff is for losers, right? Plus, he also makes fun of Star Trek and MySpace and Happy Days! HA HA! Looooosers!

A little later in the song, Al got personal:

I've been browsin', inspectin'
X-Men comics, you know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do html for 'em all
Even made a homepage for my dog

OK, let's see... collecting comics, personal home page, Wikipedia, memorizing huge chunks of Holy Grail, writing html for your friends... Alright, maybe Al has been spying on me.

I figured I'd better take the test:

How White and Nerdy Are You?

Fine, yes, I'm far too white and nerdy and I know it. In fact, it's entirely possible that I've written an entry at my personal home page (actually, this blog) about X-Men and quoted Holy Grail all at once, complete with Wikipedia links inserted in just the right html code. Because, you know, all that stuff is for losers. ;)

This new Weird Al song reminds me of my all time favorite Weird Al song, All About The Pentiums, which also hits home with me, big nerd that I am:

Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizzz-ouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K

On the mizzz-ouse fa shizzle. You know it, dog.

Your database is a disaster
You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er

"Me too!" HA HA! Because, back in the day, you know what I'm sayin', way way back in the USENET day, I used to totally FLAME those trolls!

You've got your own newsgroup,
"alt.total-loser"

HA HA HA! And you probably think that the "alt" in "alt" newsgroups stands for "alternate," right? WRONG! HA HA HA! I'm soooo much cooler than you.

Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you. What?!

Word to your motherboard.

But, I digress.

As funny as the new Weird Al song is, I couldn't help but think about other aspects of it. For one thing, it hinges on stereotypes about white people, like me. And, yes, those stereotypes are funny. And it's safe to laugh at those stereotypes because, after all, it's safe to mock white people. So, ha ha, good show Al, you've still got it.

But what about other stereotypes about other races?

I have to wonder if I'd be considered a bigot by the world at large because I also occasionally laugh at stereotypical ideas about races, colors and creeds that aren't white.

I wrote the other day about how George Allen is catching hell because some people say he's used the word "nigger" in the past. I said then, and I honestly believe, that Allen is being attacked on this basis because his political enemies don't have anything else to attack him with.

But here's the thing: Allen says he can't remember having ever used the word "nigger" in his life, and that's just silly.

The thing is, is it possible for a public figure to be honest about these kinds of things? Is it possible for him to say something like "Oh, sure, I've said stupid things in the past, like everyone else. I've probably also made racially insensitive remarks during times when I wasn't thinking about the real importance of that kind of thing. I regret it, I make an effort not to do it, and I'm really more interested in talking about the real issues than I am in trying to make a laundry list of every time I've ever used the so-called "n" word."

I guess he'd be hung out to dry if he ever said something like that.

So, in the interest of self preservation, I want to make a few confessions. Here's where I'm coming from: I guess it's possible that someday, somewhere down the line, I'll lose my mind to the point where I think about running for office. God, I hope not. I really hope I'd never actually want to get involved in politics. But I might. I've done crazy crap before. So, in an effort to derail any political chances I might aspire to in the future, let me drop this smart-bomb right now. There's no chance of me ever being elected dog-catcher or anything else with the following confessions floating around in the Google cache for God knows how long.

Ready? Here's the details of my racially insensitive past. Consider this full disclosure. I'm throwing out there everything I can think of, even if it's marginally relevant:

• I've used the n-word more times than I could begin to remember. The main reason for this is because I used to listen to a lot of NWA and Ice-T and other gangsta rap when I was young and dumb… and I used to rap along. Not all of my uses of the n-word were in the wigger tradition. I'm also a Guns N' Roses fan and I've sung along with them a million times. Nowadays I don't use the word for any reason, unless the word itself is the topic of conversation, because I just don't have any need to use it or any desire to use it. Besides, using that word just makes people look stupid.



• I do not think that there's a real difference between "nigga" and "nigger." Same word. Don't BS me.



• But... context is everything. I think that Chris Rock's bit from ten years ago about the difference between "black people and niggers" is one of the funniest bits of stand-up ever recorded.



• I own, on cassette, the Richard Pryor album That Nigger's Crazy. I think it's brilliant. It might actually be counterproductive, though, for me to admit that I think the funniest bit on the whole album is his material about how overly-formal and starchy white people can be. ("Say, dear, do you think we'll be having sexual intercourse this evening? No? Oh, well! Pass the potatoes!")



• I am not a fan of Chappelle's Show. I've always thought that Dave Chappelle was over-rated. I did laugh like crazy, though, at one bit I saw him do about how he believed that if black people ever got the reparations that some of them demand, they'd waste it on 40 oz's and spinning rims and bling, etc. Now, from what I've read, Dave Chapelle believes that only other black people should be allowed to laugh at his material about black people, no matter how funny it is. I chalk that up to him being a drug-addled, spoiled, rich asshole. And, no, I don't feel sorry for the poor little rich boy any more than I ever felt sorry for this poor little rich boy.



• John Leguizamo's Spic-O-Rama made me laugh like crazy.



• I hate Margaret Cho, and I always have. Even before I knew she was a flaming liberal nutball, I thought she was about as funny as an infected wart. Her material about her parents, wherein she just does this stereotypical impression of her immigrant mother, disgusts me. She sounds like some moron jock trying to impress his buddies by behaving obnoxiously at a Chinese restaurant.



• I think Larry The Cable Guy is an idiot. I've written about that in the past.



• I despise the current version of hip hop. I do like Outkast, and the new Gnarls Barkley album is my second favorite album of the whole year so far... but I'm told that real hip-hop fans consider those groups to be sell-outs, not black enough, not "real" enough, whatever. A co-worker of mine, a white guy who thinks of himself as an authority on these matters, told me that those bands were "soft, fake nigger shit." I shrugged.



• I don't like Oprah's show, but I respect her a lot for having made the American dream come true.



• I think Michael Jordan is one of the most admirable people ever.



• The only element of the movie Bruce Almighty that appealed to me was the idea of God looking like Morgan Freeman. I think that Morgan Freeman is the most avuncular person alive, although it's probably somehow subconsciously racist for me to talk about a black man in the context of him seeming like an "uncle."



• I think that Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Lous Farakhan are all race-obsessed morons.



• I think that Michael Steele, a black Republican, is the greatest politician in America today.



• OJ did it. Period.



• My all time favorite comedy is the racially inflammatory Blazing Saddles.



• If I hear a racially or culturally insensitive, politically incorrect joke… and it's actually funny, I'll laugh at it. What's more, if I run into somebody who I know will also think it's funny, I'll tell said joke to him or her.

There ya go! A Weird Al post and a racially irresponsible rant all rolled into one. Now, where else ya gonna find that?

• Miss Us?
  
  Thanks to those of you who sent us e-mail while the sites were down for a while. Here's what happened: Wendy is taking a break from blogging, her schedule just doesn't allow it right now. You might have noticed that she hasn't even had time to write reviews at film geeks in a long time.
  
  Anyway, Internet Explorer 7 doesn’t allow the same old FTP access that the previous versions did, so we're using open source FTP software and trying to find a program for FTP that we like. Some of this stuff is a bit cryptic, especially for amateur users.
  
  Long story short, a wrong click here and a wrong click there and, ooops. All gone.
  
  Thankfully, I'd just backed up everything.
  
  I was able to get everything restored properly except for Dorkside, which is flakey now. You can leave comments for Wendy, though, at this identical post at the family website. She'll still be around.
  
  I feel creepy posting this… like I'm the cyber-version of Scott Peterson, trying to explain his wife's absence. Thankfully, I don't own a boat.



• Good Call On Iron Man
  
  So Wendy calls me at work last night and tells me that they've cast Iron Man. She'd found out through Strange Culture. I took a big gulp, fearing bad news as a whole list of over-rated, untalented, pointless or washed-up prettyboys ran through my head.
  
  Then, Wendy blindsides me with good news. They cast Robert Downey, Jr.
  
  An actual actor! A good actor!
  
  And, an actor who's personal experiences with addiction might bring some weight to the role if they go into Tony Stark (Iron Man)'s battles with alcoholism.

  

  This is beginning to look promising.